Me writing erotica:
“And when I saw the pizza delivery driver had entered my neighborhood I couldn’t help but be excited.”
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Replies (53)
This is too spicy 😱
I suggest ranch dip or order a different pizza next time less spicy
@Mallory is speechless obviously it’s so good
Yeahh it really got me going 🥵💯💯
I was actually eating pineapple pizza when I transmitted this note to the relays.
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In my experience, cheese does work. As long as I don’t eat it first
Yes this works for me lol
Don’t tell too many people or they will be down at the park throwing babybels at the women before long
🔥🤤💦
You might not have been aware, but there actually is a second best.
I'm not a woman, but if one brought me cheese (and or pickled things and or smoked/aged meats), I would be EXTREMELY fascinated.
And possibly a third…
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Maybe I want people to enjoy free cheese
Yep
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A token redeemable for anything consistently is literally better than fiat even if it’s a low value item.
There’s no such thing as free cheese that’s what they say anyway
So you identify as a woman then
Continue 
I identify as an eater of delectibles.
If you’re offering me the ability to tolerate lactose again with that cheese it might be a difficult choice, otherwise Bitcoin.
I just so happen to have a bottle of pills for that right here with me…
Also hey guys @Mallory is finally here not like we were waiting or anything
Must study this book rigorously
Work hard play hard
I have a friend if a guy gave her cheese, her single streak might be over. If I ever felt the need to send flowers I would send cheese instead.
😂
🤤
I will take a wheel of cheese 🧀 over a Birkin bag any day!
😂
Actually Mallory you are in luck because Parmesan cheese, like many aged cheeses, contain very low levels of lactose. 👌
This is the way
My nephew eats wedges of Parmesan like a sandwich. I bequeath all Parmesan I receive to him.
He’s gonna be mad when he gets cheese and everyone else gets bitcoin.
You are a good aunti 🏆
I eat Parmesan exactly like that!
I had to google that 😅 but great haha.
The thing is he probably wouldn’t be. 🤣😂🤣
Seems like a poor choice when you could sell/trade the bag for many more wheels of cheese, or at least use the bag to carry your cheese in.
“Destroyed” when that worker took them home 🤣 
Then you have not educated the foundling properly 
Google the Birkin bag 👀
If so then you have lived a very good life my dear 😅🙏 be aware of this bag 😂😂🏆 especially the Birkin Diamond 💎 Himalaya 🐊: An Homage to Majesty 👑
In 2022, Sotheby's sold a Diamond Himalaya Birkin 30 for over $450,000 USD.
For educational purposes: 
#Birkin #BirkinBag
#BirkinOrBitcoin That Is The Question 😅🫣 … #Bitcoin
But you know #Hermes is also the color orange 🧡 
Sothebys.com
The Top 6 Most Expensive Hermès Birkin Bags
Discover the craftsmanship and allure of the six most expensive Hermès Birkin bags, including Jane Birkin’s Original Birkin, which set a $10.1 m...
Ahhh Birkin bag ☺️♥️ I’ll never have one of these but they are pretty
Well both will appreciate in value, Birkin you can wear and cheese you can eat 😂
But yeah you are right in terms of value, Birkin is likely a better choice - but I really love cheese 🧀 ahaha
Yeah that was a painful day in history
Don’t say that!
That’s why I suggested putting the cheese IN the birkin 🤙🏻 so you can have your cheese and eat it too!
😂😂😂🏆 yes it was a very good idea! #HaveYourCheeseAndEatItToo
Haha thank you. I don't actually have a thing for bags 😅
But what if your wife does (or will). When we #Moon, you will need to choose gifts wisely 🥵 😂
No problemo 🤌
This will also win over any woman hehe 😉