I didn't derail anything. The entire premise is based on the answer to the question I first asked. "How do you reduce spam on the blockchain?" You may not have an answer to that question and that's fine. But the position you hold (reduce spam) absolutely depends on an answer to that question, which in reality doesn't have a good answer.

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Haha, no intention of sending you there, though it does often sound nice. It was actually just an honest question though that I've asked myself just as often. I'm also a big proponent of privacy improvements on the blockchain and someday it would be great to have privacy improvements where it is difficult or impossible to tell what exactly a transaction is (things like schnorr sig and taproot help). If we someday get there and all data looks the same, telling the difference between "spam" and "legit" will be a fruitless endeavour.
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