Handstand pooping

Been a while. Bitcoin still good. Training for marathon. Still lacking fulfillment. The 9-5 exhausts me.

I haven't posted here in a hella fortnight. I just lost a hockey game and my nipples are a bit chafed. What up.

Happy holidays, Nostr 🤒 https://image.nostr.build/0492a5ac3882da0f551ab1723e009710ba366d50368e6e5d6e578a8d959a03d6.jpg#m=image%2Fjpeg&dim=1920x1440&blurhash=%23EFhkv%3A*VZOESgofRjofWB%7EVoMRjR%2BfPoeRkoKoe0f%25f%252rr%24*oLozaxs%3AX8%251xaaej%5BR*Woofj%5B-%3BEMEMSOR*afWBoef6oyR*R*oKs.jtWVa%7CWVE1WBkCWBoea%7DoLWBj%5D&x=55bffeaf7384266168202603821699c64cf85edde6b64dc70ed72d413681aa05

I can't wait until I can just spend all day every day making tasty food for the people I love. One day. One day.

Simply ain't feelin' it

Just another few photos of things that have made me happy recently. I've been very very busy lately and I think I'm realizing that being busy - even if it's having a packed social schedule or doing things that make me happy outside of work - is very good for me. This may seem like common sense to a lot of folks, but I'm just now trying to learn that I matter and that I deserve to look after my own happiness too. I don't do great when I lounge and languish and only offer my emotional capacity to other people. But I have been doing great these days that I've had packed with STUFF and EVENTS and SOCIALIZATION. Introspection is nice. Take care of yourselves, and take care of those around you if you have the spoons to do so. Have a wonderful evening 💕

Another game, another win - the team played great. I'll get my first goal eventually but my arm is still killing me from so much practice. I really hope my team doesn't get promoted from the bottom league while I'm still learning 😅 #hockey #grownostr

Small photo dump from some recent good times. #foodstr #grownostr

Forearm/elbow is KILLING me - I think it's tendinitis from practicing slapshots too often during hockey. Anybody know of how to manage this?

I've got a bit of a moral dilemma going on inside me right now. It's amazing to witness all of the development happening around #Bitcoin and #Nostr right now. I really love catching up every day to see what's in the works and what's being made - things are moving at a crazy rate. I think these tools will really advance society and encourage adoption of the ideals of freedom and self-detemination on a broad scale. But there is absolutely a selfish part of me that wants these things to take off so that the value of bitcoin will allow me to exit the rat race, retire young, become self-sufficient, live comfortably, and set up my kids for success (if I ever have any). I feel guilty for wanting to see broad adoption and success for reasons that can be perceived as wholly lazy and self-serving. I consciously realize this guilt was largely taught to me by the nature of our economy and American work culture, but it's hard to shake the subconscious negativity I feel towards myself because of my human desires. I mean, retirement is the goal for a lot of people, but I feel guilt for... wanting it sooner? for wanting it to come easier? for not wanting to continue devoting my time to institutions and businesses I don't believe in? Logically this negativity makes no sense. I hope one day I can be nicer to myself. For now I'll just keep watching Nostr blossom and keep living like the bitcoin I hodl doesn't exist.

11 hours of shopping and work later and we ended up with 7 jars of vegan kimchi (doengjang and vegan fish sauce in place of dried fermented shrimp and regular fish sauce), 4 jars of pickled beets, and 4 jars of pickled shishito peppers and carrots. Incredibly rewarding and satisfying stuff! Plus munching on fresh kimchi was a treat like no other. #foodstr

I'm going to make kimchi with a friend this weekend, but they're vegan and so we won't be using fish sauce or salted fermented shrimp - I'm thinking of using mushroom powder for umami Does anyone have any tips for vegan kimchi? #foodstr

What a rip-off these don't taste like ribs at all

I'm in my late twenties and I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. As a kid I was pushed towards "successful" (STEM) fields and that's all I've ever known to be acceptable. Undiagnosed ADHD made it hard enough just to keep working towards the finish line, let alone to explore other things in depth. I struggled to get here, and now that I'm here, all I know is that I don't want to be here. But I've got so much financial anxiety that I'm frozen in place, unwilling to take a leap into something new because where I am now is, at the very least, stable. I want out, but I'm scared. I don't know where to go. I desperately want to be doing something that makes me happy, but I dont know how to figure out what that is. Lots of thinking lately, but not much progress. One step at a time, I suppose.

Lately I've been having pretty intense dreams about long-distance running. I'm talking like marathons and ultras. The thing is, I've never run longer than 4 or so miles in my life. I haven't run consistently since I did cross country in middle school. I want to take this as a sign, but my inconsistency in establishing a running routine in the past is leaving me hopeless before I've even started. Maybe I'll think about trying again once the temperature and humidity drop off again for the year.

Just tried a little test stream on zap.stream - it was a fun time. Peglin and Overwatch. Didn't feel the pressure of needing to focus on metrics or whatever, just wanted to play games and chill with whoever came through. I don't know why nostr continues to be so mentally refreshing for me, it just does. If you came through and watched, even for a bit, thank you. It was fun, I'll do it again sometime soon.

I've been playing ice hockey for about 1 year 3 months now, and I just scored my first ever goal in a scrimmage tonight. Feels fucking good.

I'm normally not one for sharing anything online, really. I don't know why, but Nostr feels different. Maybe it's just because we're early. But saying what's on my mind doesn't... feel wrong, you know? I'm gonna keep saying stuff for now.

Nostr is giving me feelings. I'm doing the usual thing I used to do with old social media platforms - agonizing over every little thing about my accounts, profile, and security for hours, because I guess I'm drawn to stressing myself out. (I'm sure this will go away with time though.) But I also have this childlike wonder over everything being made right now. For instance, streams on live.snort.social have just started being a thing within the last few days and I just saw @jb55 start a stream and begin integrating chat with Damus??? Like, that's so cool to just randomly witness. Nostr is fun.