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Cyph3rp9nk
cyph3rp9nk@getalby.com
npub1lnms...rrnt
Non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloriam.
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Cyph3rp9nk yesterday
A year ago, people told me the market was crashing because Jensen, the CEO of "boobs" NVIDIA, was fucking a Chinese spy, and I don't buy it.
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Cyph3rp9nk yesterday
Well you tell me, bro. Imagine yourself. You're the fucking CEO of Nvidia, loaded beyond belief, sweating inside your leather jacket all fucking day, worn out by corporate life and by Silicon Valley female executives acting like untouchable divas and only giving you headaches. And along comes one of these little Chinese spies. Sure, on her government's payroll and looking to steal your blueprints. But she's got a slim, tight, flexible Asian body that you could balance a server on top of and it wouldn't fall off. And huge natural tits like you've never even seen in porn. And the chick starts with her oh my visionary, oh my technological dragon. Buttering you up, basically. And you feel how your dick, which you thought was only going to be good for pissing and signing GPU patents for the rest of your life, starts throbbing when this agent comes up to you and whispers 2 little things in your ear. And she keeps going, without you even having to make a move. She caresses you, kisses you, fuck-ing hell. You have to give her the architecture of the next generation of chips to take her out to dinner? Well yes. Her eyes roll back when she sees you pull out the H100 processor blueprints? Of course. But then you get to your Santa Clara mansion and she gives you a fuck like you've never even seen in virtual reality. That ass moves in a way and squeezes your dick so tight that you cum in 1 minute at fiber-optic speed. And what does she do? She smiles at you, kisses you and says "oh I love you my dlagon" when in the same situation an American executive would have practically humiliated you. And you, at your fucking 60 years of age, are banging this Beijing infiltrator with a strength and a hunger you haven't had since you founded the company in the 90s. And she says yes to everything. EVERYTHING. You try the whole fucking Kama Sutra. And she's loving it, for fuck's sake. She tells you she loves your cock. She devours it, the fucking bitch. And she swallows it all. Sometimes you think a testicle is going to come out through your urethra from how eagerly the bitch sucks. And so what if afterward you have to let her send a couple of terabytes of industrial secrets to her country? She makes it worth your while better than any other woman you've ever known. She idolizes you, kisses the ground you walk on in your designer sneakers. She keeps your schedule clear and gives you massages that reboot your system. And you strut around AI keynotes like a young guy, with your balls drained like never before in your fucking life. Is stealing intellectual property what gets her going? Well yes, you know that perfectly well. But fuck, HOW it gets her going. Your silicon secrets are like Jet-1 in her turbine pussy that makes you cum like a blackbird day in and day out. And you're happy. Happier than ever in your life. And you think that's wrong? Give me a break
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Cyph3rp9nk yesterday
Pues tú dirás, shur. Imagínate a ti mismo. Eres el puto CEO de Nvidia, forrado hasta los topes, todo el puto día sudando dentro de la chupa de cuero, reventao de la vida corporativa y de que las ejecutivas de Silicon Valley vayan de divas intocables y solo te den dolores de cabeza. Y te viene una espía chinita de estas. Que sí, a sueldo de su gobierno y buscando robarte los planos. Pero trae un cuerpo asiático, fino, apretado y flexible que le puedes apoyar un servidor encima y no se cae. Y unos pechotes naturales y enormes que no has visto ni en el porno. Y la tía empieza con sus ay mi visionario, ay mi dragón tecnológico. A dorarte la píldora, vamos. Y notas como el rabo, que pensabas que ya solo te iba a servir para mear y firmar patentes de GPUs el resto de tu vida, empieza a palpitarte cuando la agente esta se te acerca y te susurra 2 cositas al oído. Y ella prosigue, sin que tú tengas ni que dar paso alguno. Te acaricia, te besa, jo-der. Que le tienes que soltar la arquitectura de la próxima generación de chips para invitarla a cenar? Pues sí. Que a ella se le ponen los ojos en blanco cuando te ve sacar los planos de los procesadores H100? Pues claro. Pero luego llegáis a tu mansión de Santa Clara y te pega una follada que no has visto ni en la realidad virtual. Ese culo se mueve de una forma y te aprieta el rabo que hace que te corras en 1 minuto a la velocidad de la fibra óptica. Y qué hace ella? Te sonríe, te besa y te dice "ay me encantas mi dlagon" cuando en la misma situación una directiva yanki te hubiera prácticamente humillado. Y tú, a tus putos 60 años, te estás zumbando a la infiltrada de Beijing esta con una fuerza y un ansia que no tenías desde que fundaste la empresa en los 90. Y ella dice que sí a todo. A TODO. Pruebas todo el puto kamasutra. Y ella encantada, qué coño. Te dice que le encanta tu pija. La devora, la muy hija de puta. Y se lo traga todo. A veces piensas que se te va a salir un testículo por la uretra del ansia con la que chupa la muy perra. Y qué si luego hay que dejar que mande un par de terabytes de secretos industriales a su país? Te lo compensa mejor que cualquier otra mujer que hayas conocido. Te idolatra, besa por donde pisas con tus zapatillas de diseño. Te tiene la agenda limpia y te hace unos masajes que te reinician el sistema. Y tú te paseas por las keynotes de IA como un chaval, con los cojones descargados como en tu puta vida. Que el robo de propiedad intelectual la mueve? Pues sí, lo sabes perfectamente. Pero coño, CÓMO la mueve. Tus secretos de silicio son como Jet-1 en su coño turbina que te hace correrte como un mirlo día sí y día también. Y tú feliz. Más que nunca en tu vida. Y eso os parece mal? Venga ya
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Cyph3rp9nk yesterday
"When the company ran diagnostics on about 700 systems, it found 10,500 vulnerabilities and held an emergency press conference on June 16, applying fixes over three months. However, when it re-ran diagnostics using "GPT-6 Astra," the latest model released by US-based OpenAI, it confirmed 35,000 new vulnerabilities. "Honestly, we're completely exhausted" View quoted note →
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Cyph3rp9nk yesterday
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Cyph3rp9nk 3 days ago
*Heart of the Beast* is a beautiful movie. If you've never had a dog, get one—but only if you can give it a good life. It's something you have to do at least once in your life; you'll never experience such unconditional love from a human. A dog is man's best friend. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have another one.
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Cyph3rp9nk 3 days ago
This is an ad for CoinCloud, but the slogan is powerful: You have to ask permission to open a bank account, but to open a Bitcoin account, you don't have to ask anyone for permission. View quoted note →
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Cyph3rp9nk 3 days ago
People outside Spain might read this nonsense and believe it. Spain is governed from Morocco, which is the preferred partner of the U.S. and Israel. image
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Cyph3rp9nk 4 days ago
OpenBazaar was the most sincere attempt to create a decentralized marketplace, and it’s back—let’s not let this new opportunity slip away. What matters isn’t Bitcoin or Monero; what matters is being able to use Bitcoin and Monero to buy anything anywhere in the world, outside the reach of the government and those shitty KYC platforms that serve them. View quoted note →
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