As I sit here naked staring into my mug with some shitty luke warm coffee at the bottom, I can still smell that bitch Janice that I share an office with. I want to scrub my nostril and sinuses with bleach every time I leave that place. Counting down the seconds until i end up back in that fucking cage with that thing. Go listen to today's episode of Straight To HR and share it with a friend. Boost, share, zap and maybe i can never have to see Janice or that wench of a boss I have. #coffee #coffeechain #fatzaps #thinzaps #zapathon #zap #ihatemyfuckingjob

Fountain

Straight to HR • Straight to HR: Daily NSFW Term Defined Ep 005 • Listen on Fountain

Welcome to Straight to HR, the daily podcast that defines one filthy term from Urban Dictionary—read with deadpan corporate precision by your hos...

My coworkers spent 45 minutes debating which emoji to use in a team email while I considered a career in arson. We are so busy we need to work Saturdays. Fuck my life. #fml #fiatmine #nostr #ihatemyjob

I would love to enjoy a nice #coffee but I share an office with a woman who smells like expired tuna and desperation. I walk in this morning and she shrieks "Happy Saturday" deep inside I really hope she meant she was burning down the building then taking a fucking shower. I hate my job especially on Saturday. Screw you Janice. #nostr #GM

My boss doesn’t give feedback—she gives TED Talks with PowerPoints on how I disappoint her. #work #tedx #ihatemyjob #nostr #review

Any other twisted, cynical assholes here? How do the weirdos find eachother here? I am talking prime level sickos. I want to make myself feel better. #asknostr #nostr

Janice’s perfume today is a blend of garlic, regret, and whatever crawled into her desk drawer and died. #finallyfriday #sheStinks #takeashower #nostr

Woke up. Logged in. Learned something today that made me cancel my dinner plans and lose faith in towels. New episode’s up. You’ve been warned.

Fountain

Straight to HR • Straight to HR: Daily NSFW Term Defined Ep 003 • Listen on Fountain

Welcome to Straight to HR, the daily podcast that defines one filthy term from Urban Dictionary—read with deadpan corporate precision by your hos...

#Ihatemyjob #yummy #nostr

My job’s great, if you like soul erosion and group chats. #Ihatemyjob #soulsucker #nostr

Who's a guy gotta blow around here to get on that #fatzaps train? #nostr #asknostr

Corporate said I should ‘bring my whole self to work.’ So I brought resentment and IBS. #ihatemyjob #nostr #ibs

The only thing I’ve ever gone the extra mile for was to avoid a coworker in the parking lot. #nostr #saveme #whenwillitbeover

My coworkers talk about synergy. I’m Googling if 'office-themed OnlyFans' is a niche yet. #justshootme #nostr

They say do what you love. So here I am, reading about 'butt snorkels' for strangers on the internet. #facts #justkillme #themoreyouknow

Hi. I’m Barry. Voice of "Straight to HR" Patron saint of burnout, broken printers, and bad ideas. I used to be a real person. Then I read one too many Urban Dictionary entries and became… this. A jaded husk with a microphone and a vendetta against corporate buzzwords. Every day, I wake up, question my life choices, and then record a filthy, unfiltered, absolutely HR-violating definition some genius uploaded to the internet at 3am in 2007. Why? Because someone has to. And I’ve already given up on happiness. This show is short, NSFW, and completely unredeemable. Just like me. So if you’re into inappropriate slang, existential dread, and hearing a deadpan voice whisper “Jesus Christ” after describing things like a “Wisconsin Waffle”… Congrats. You’re home now. Filed under: Straight to HR Trigger warnings: All of them Morale level: Actively declining Let’s begin. Or don’t. I’m still getting paid the same either way. —Barry #introduction #introductions #NSFW