Don't worry, your personal messages are end-to-end encrypted. Don't worry, we also have both keys.

The kingdom of God is like a dragnet that is let down into the sea and it pulls up all kinds of fish and creatures some of which, you're like ... what is that? what did we rake out of the muck? that thing ... God made that thing? that thing's ugly that thing is weird that thing has eyes on ONE side of his body anyway... I feel like I'm going beyond the text here, because you could just stop your interpretation at "it's just a net" ... "there's two or three or four different types of fish in the water" (some you throw back)... Or, it's literally a dragnet and God is talking about the deep sea creatures of the Marianas trench. Let's read the verse again. Matthew 13:47

The Lion does not concern himself with whether his wife has spilled salsa on her pants.

If I prayed to God to love you, would that mean that I didn't love you, or that I did?

The city guy is telling me I'm using too much paint on the roads 🙄

Sometimes God prunes you so that you bloom where you are.

Even the prettiest face has a butt that poops.

And now we're dividing the meetings...

Product goes to the bugs list to figure out how the app actually works 😭😭😭

🙌

Establishing trust and relationship

This just in: female coworker confesses to having a dream about shaving the head of her coworker, who then showed up to work the next day with a haircut.

No more tippy toes for me

We'll chalk that up to "may have purpose in reproduction"

Well there it is. I disagree with the Universal Declaration of Human Rights... "Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work." Nope.

Freedom of belief? No. Freedom of thought.

The fact that beggars accost me is a mark that I am a beacon of good in the world.

"These taste pretty good", I say, nervously eyeing all of the glass straws.

Yes I, ah, leveraged AI for that part.

This code looks like written by a _duck_... The type of rubber duck that has only ever heard plans explained to it that weren't great — plans until the enlightened moment when the engineer figured it out, and then left without saying it. #rubberduck