I’m sharing this here in the #NOSTR community, and in a few other spaces where like-minded people gather.
I’ve been truly blessed by the amount of love, donations, support, and messages I’ve received. It’s humbled me more than I can put into words.
This experience has shown me something important: sometimes, when you don’t see any other options-especially as a man-it is okay to ask for help.
We’re not meant to do everything alone.
We’re all worthy of love.
And we’re all worthy of asking for, and receiving, support.
Thank you for being part of that reminder here is my 2025 experience that almost killed as I’ve abandoned myself. ⬇️
My body has reached its limit.
I’m asking for help.
This year has been…
2025 has been…
The hardest year of my life on my body. And the most humbling.
The year I’m asking for help and created a gofundme for myself.
I’m raising funds for an urgent jaw surgery to remove an infection.
There is a lot of feeling of shame and despair that showed up here while writing, and I’m naming it instead of letting it creep in my mind.
Usually, at the end of the year, I remember posting something beautiful about wins.
And if there is only one real win I can name from this year, it’s how much I’ve learned, how much I’ve grown, and how deeply I’ve been forced to face myself in ways I didn’t choose, but could not avoid.
I’ve sat on this GoFundMe for weeks.
I’ve deleted it. Rewritten it. Cried over it. Asked people to help me with it.
Just before posting, the man with the highest agency in my life offered to do it for me.
But if I had said yes, I would once again be relying on someone else to face something I need to meet myself.
I would be avoiding the complexity of the situation I’m in.
I abandoned myself after going to the hospital at the beginning of the year.
That choice cost me more than I can put into words but I had no capacity.
So this is me.
Messy. Exposed. Doing this anyway.
Even though asking for help publicly is one of the most painful things.
2025 has been the most brutal year of my life physically thus emotionally.
Right now, I’m raising funds for an urgent dental surgery in Perth from February 4th to 11th to remove a hidden jaw infection buried in the bone.
This type of infection is commonly associated with chronic illness, mold toxicity, Lyme and co-infections MCAS which I've been dealing with. The jaw infection has been on my radar since 2021.
It started after the removal of my wisdom teeth 20 years ago, and when the immune system takes a hit, the infection isn’t contained anymore.
Until recently, I couldn’t find anyone in Australia I trusted to perform the surgery I need.
For the past years, I didn’t have the capacity to fly and the financial mean to pursue the €10,000 procedure with Dr. Nischwitz in Germany, one of the pioneers of biological dentistry.
What happened this year changed everything in my body and how I relate to it.
At the beginning of 2025, I collapsed with pericarditis and was hospitalised. Within a week, I developed pneumonia and went back to hospital.
That moment marked the start of the biggest physical crash of my life.
What followed was an emotional crash in June, ongoing instability around safe housing, and months of trying to find a living environment free from the toxins that directly worsen my illness at the beginning of the year.
Most houses contain mold and have a bad air environment which makes me sicker. That alone could be a book.
From that point, I was mostly bedridden until Mid-November, spending up to 22 hours a day lying down. Every time I tried to push through and work, I crashed harder in the days that followed.
During this period, I abandoned myself completely. I lost my sunrise practice, which if you know me, you know how much that means for me and how it helped me going through so much over those past years.
My body is in constant aches. I feel the infection in my jaw like never before.
Severe brain fog, short term memory loss and confusion.
Nausea many days.
Recent blood tests showed that even small amounts of physical effort, like half a day of work, cause my creatine kinase levels to spike to dangerous levels.
This means my muscles are breaking down at a rate they should not.
I am on the verge of something called rhabdomyolysis.
Right now, management looks like forced rest, sleep, and constant hydration.
I’ve lost almost all physical and mental capacity to work or function properly for an extended period of time.
For work or in public, I hold it together by relying on heavy stimulants.
So that is where I am at and why I am asking for help.
What the funds will cover:
• $6,000 AUD for surgery, flights, and accommodation for a week in Perth in early February.
• $2,000+ AUD for post-surgery recovery, aftercare medical support, and treatments.
• If there are remaining funds, they will go toward IV vitamins or peptide therapy and/or blood filtration such as EBOO to support MCAS and detox, which will help tremendously for post-surgical recovery. Therapies I’ve been intending to do or do more for years.
Over the past few years, I’ve devoted myself to learn and support others with chronic illness, trauma, mindset, low-tox living, and mitochondrial health through quantum biology and other modalities..
This knowledge came through my own illness and healing journey, studying with truly incredible teachers and facilitators from around the world.
I should have addressed this jaw infection earlier. I know that. I didn’t have the financial capacity or the support. And now I’m here, owning that reality.
I need help to get back on my feet. And I guess I’m just asking for it.
If you can donate or share this, it would mean more than I can express.
I’m also open to other forms of support, locally around the Surf Coast or online. I need help organising my life and brain again. Brainstorming. Creating structure. I’ve been living in complete chaos and I’m exhausted.
I also need to build a kitchen in my van. I’ve been living in a camping-style setup without a kitchen for six months, through winter in Victoria. Even though I’m on a beautiful piece of land, this has had a serious impact on my health, body, and nervous system(mind).
I need to tend to the foundations again. Home. Safety. Organisation. Rest. My basic needs that I have not been able to take care of on my own as I am absolutely exhausted.
That is it. I will drop the link in the comments.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for witnessing this.
Thank you for being here.
With love,
Vinny
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