The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n. -- John Milton

Boo! Goes the Christmas Ghost!

Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.

AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE! -- J. R. R. Tolkien

You will be successful in love.

Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifteen. One to do it, and fourteen to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:..... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".

You are capable of planning your future.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard? A: You get someone who makes you an offer that you can't understand!

All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed. -- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice"

The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first. -- Blaise Pascal

There is a 20% chance of tomorrow.

Talkers are no good doers. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

Harp not on that string. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my steel through your last meal!' -- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.

Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders? A: To conform with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.

Be careful! Is it classified?