The Babylon Bee
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Fake news you can trust.
Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics To Spend More Time With Vodka
The Babylon Bee
Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics To Spend More Time With Vodka
SACRAMENTO — Former Vice President Kamala Harris officially announced today that she would be stepping away from politics in order to spend more ...
Mattel Introduces New 'Ozempic Barbie' With Syringe And Detachable Belly
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Mattel Introduces New 'Ozempic Barbie' With Syringe And Detachable Belly
U.S. — Toy maker Mattel has unveiled the latest in its Barbie lineup, the all-new "Ozempic Barbie" that comes with real syringes and a de...
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes
The Babylon Bee
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes
Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.
Libertarian Torn Between Investing In Shiny Rocks Or Magic Computer Coins
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Libertarian Torn Between Investing In Shiny Rocks Or Magic Computer Coins
KNOXVILLE, TN — Local Libertarian Steve Kocot was unsure about how best to invest his money and was torn between investing in shiny rocks or some...
Illegals Help Film Republican Presidential Campaign Commercial
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Illegals Help Film Republican Presidential Campaign Commercial
LOS ANGELES, CA — The Republican Party expressed gratitude to a local group of illegal immigrants who helped film some commercials for the next p...
Judge Determines Trump Will Get The Nation On Weekdays, While Musk Gets Every Other Weekend And Holidays
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Judge Determines Trump Will Get The Nation On Weekdays, While Musk Gets Every Other Weekend And Holidays
U.S. — As the American people sat back helplessly and watched a once-close relationship fall apart, a judge issued a ruling that President Donald...
Nicolas Cage Launches New Streaming Service Nicolas Cage+ That Has Nothing But Nicolas Cage Movies
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Nicolas Cage Launches New Streaming Service Nicolas Cage+ That Has Nothing But Nicolas Cage Movies
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Nicolas Cage announced this week that he will be starting his own streaming service called Nicolas Cage+, which will exclusively ...
Midwesterner Arrested For Squeezing Past Someone Without Saying 'Ope!'
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Midwesterner Arrested For Squeezing Past Someone Without Saying 'Ope!'
DULUTH, MN — Local midwestern man Dave Netters was arrested for squeezing past someone at a grocery store without saying the obligatory "Ope!...
ChatGPT Announced As Harvard Valedictorian
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ChatGPT Announced As Harvard Valedictorian
CAMBRIDGE, MA — ChatGPT has been officially crowned as the valedictorian of Harvard University.
Announcement: The Babylon Bee Is Now A Full-Service Restaurant And All Our Writers Are Compensated Entirely With Tips
The Babylon Bee
Announcement: The Babylon Bee Is Now A Full-Service Restaurant And All Our Writers Are Compensated Entirely With Tips
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Babylon Bee is no longer a satire website. After months of strategy meetings and lots of thinking really hard, we have decided to...
Newly Discovered Mosaic Law Required Israelites To Separate Themselves From Android Users
The Babylon Bee
Newly Discovered Mosaic Law Required Israelites To Separate Themselves From Android Users
SINAI — Scholars marveled at the revelation of what was described as a long-hidden passage of religious text, as a newly discovered portion of th...