The Babylon Bee - Nostr Hypermedia

Woman Posts Pic Of Her Dinner For Benefit Of Friends Who’ve Never Seen Spaghetti

LEXINGTON, KY — Local woman Julie Linton took several pictures of her dinner to post on social media for the benefit of all of her friends who ha...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Their Future National Anthem

The Babylon Bee

Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Their Future National Anthem

MONTREAL — Hockey fans of the soon-to-be 51st state of America booed when their future National Anthem was played last night.

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Europe Vows To Stick It To Trump By Finally Paying Their Own Bills

The Babylon Bee

Europe Vows To Stick It To Trump By Finally Paying Their Own Bills

MUNICH, DE — Following Vice President J.D. Vance's speech condemning Europe for failing to do its part alongside America to protect democrat...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

SNL Celebrates 25th Anniversary Of Last Time It Was Funny

The Babylon Bee

SNL Celebrates 25th Anniversary Of Last Time It Was Funny

NEW YORK, NY — Saturday Night Live hosted an epic celebration to mark fifty years since the show started and twenty-five years since it was last ...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Vance Speech Denouncing E.U. Censorship Censored By E.U.

The Babylon Bee

Vance Speech Denouncing E.U. Censorship Censored By E.U.

MUNICH — Angry about Vice President J.D. Vance's speech denouncing censorship in the Europe, the European Union has decided to censor all vi...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Democrats Demand Transparency From Man Who Posts Literally Everything He Does On The Internet

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Demand Transparency From Man Who Posts Literally Everything He Does On The Internet

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have demanded increased transparency from a man who painstakingly posts on the internet every single thing he does.

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

The Babylon Bee Has Obtained RFK Jr.'s New And Improved Food Pyramid

The Babylon Bee

The Babylon Bee Has Obtained RFK Jr.'s New And Improved Food Pyramid

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was only officially confirmed and sworn in as the new Secretary of Health and Human Services yesterday, but he's already...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Disaster As King Solomon Only Buys 698 Valentine's Day Gifts

The Babylon Bee

Disaster As King Solomon Only Buys 698 Valentine's Day Gifts

JERUSALEM — Reports circulated that the House of Solomon had fallen into disarray following a disastrous Valentine's Day celebration in whic...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Impatient Liberal Journalist Starting to Suspect Trump Will Never Send Her to a Concentration Camp

The Babylon Bee

Impatient Liberal Journalist Starting To Suspect Trump Will Never Send Her To A Concentration Camp

ATLANTA, GA — An impatient liberal journalist employed by CNN began to express doubts this week that President Trump will ever send her to a conc...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

German Weather Forecasts Now Include Chances Of Being Run Down By Crazed Jihadist

The Babylon Bee

German Weather Forecasts Now Include Chances Of Being Run Down By Crazed Jihadist

BERLIN — As part of their 5-day weather forecast, German meteorologists have started to incorporate the likelihood of being run down by a crazed ...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Supreme Court Approves Death Penalty For People Who Buy Valentine's Day Cards For Their 'Work Wife'

The Babylon Bee

Supreme Court Approves Death Penalty For People Who Buy Valentine's Day Cards For Their 'Work Wife'

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an emergency ruling, the United States Supreme Court authorized the use of the death penalty for anyone who buys Valentine&...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Democrats Vow to Fight DOGE by Wasting More Money Than Ever

The Babylon Bee

Democrats Vow To Fight DOGE By Wasting More Money Than Ever

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The tug-of-war taking over federal spending continued this week, as prominent Democrats pledged to waste more money than ever ...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Pope Francis Announces That God Agrees With Whatever It Is Democrats Want To Do Right Now

The Babylon Bee

Pope Francis Announces That God Agrees With Whatever It Is Democrats Want To Do Right Now

ROME — Pope Francis, Pontiff of the Roman Church, has just confirmed that God agrees with whatever it is that the Democrats want to do right now.

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Eagles Flagged For Roughing The Passer On Pregame Handshake

The Babylon Bee

Eagles Flagged For Roughing The Passer On Pregame Handshake

NEW ORLEANS, LA — The Philadelphia Eagles were flagged for roughing the passer before the Super Bowl even got underway, receiving a 15-yard penal...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

10 Inefficiencies In Government Computer Systems Identified By DOGE Workers

The Babylon Bee

10 Inefficiencies In Government Computer Systems Identified By DOGE Workers

The Trump administration's Department of Government Efficiency has been on the warpath against federal waste and turning over every seedy rock...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Local Episcopal Church Announces 327 New Bible Study Groups For All The Genders

The Babylon Bee

Local Episcopal Church Announces 327 New Bible Study Groups For All The Genders

CINCINNATI, OH — St. Arthwyn's Episcopal Church of Cincinnati has just expanded its discipleship offerings with 327 new Bible study groups f...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

All Senate Confirmation Votes Delayed Until Mitch McConnell Unfreezes Again

The Babylon Bee

All Senate Confirmation Votes Delayed Until Mitch McConnell Unfreezes Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The senate was forced to delay further confirmation votes for Trump's cabinet this week, clarifying that all votes would ...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Biden Signs With Talent Agency, Lands Role As Corpse On 'CSI'

The Babylon Bee

Biden Signs With Talent Agency, Lands Role As Corpse On 'CSI'

LOS ANGELES, CA — Questions about his future after leaving the White House were apparently answered this week, as Joe Biden announced that he had...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

Man Working From Home Finally Ready To Start Day Now That Wife And Kids Are In Bed

The Babylon Bee

Man Working From Home Finally Ready To Start Day Now That Wife And Kids Are In Bed

ROCHESTER, MN — Business could finally get done after a local man who works from home was finally ready to start his workday now that his wife an...

The Babylon Bee 10 months ago

World Heath Organization Warns Trump Funding Cuts May Delay Release Of New Pandemic

The Babylon Bee

World Health Organization Warns Trump Funding Cuts May Delay Release Of New Pandemic

GENEVA — World Health Organization (WHO) leaders are sounding the alarm Thursday, warning that President Trump's temporary freeze on federal...