The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

California Drought Undeniable Evidence Of Climate Change - UPDATE: California Rain Undeniable Evidence Of Climate Change

The Babylon Bee

California Drought Undeniable Evidence Of Climate Change - UPDATE: California Rain Undeniable Evidence Of Climate Change

SACRAMENTO — Governor Gavin Newsom confirmed what climate scientists have been saying for years, that the devastating California drought is unden...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Local Church Tries Bold New Tactic Of Just Teaching The Bible

The Babylon Bee

Local Church Tries Bold New Tactic Of Just Teaching The Bible

GASTONIA, NC — A local church found a new surge in popularity after making the revolutionary decision to forego its normal attempts to appeal to ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Grown Man Still Calling It ‘Big Church’

The Babylon Bee

Grown Man Still Calling It ‘Big Church’

LYNCHBURG, VA — Despite being a fully grown adult, local man Jeff Campbell is still calling the worship service in the sanctuary "Big Church....

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Biden Awards Hawaii Official Medal Of Honor For Saving Water During Fire

The Babylon Bee

Biden Awards Hawaii Official Medal Of Honor For Saving Water During Fire

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heartwarming ceremony, President Joe Biden awarded the prestigious Medal of Honor to Kaleo Manuel for his work conserving...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Grown Man Still Calling It ‘Big Church’

The Babylon Bee

Grown Man Still Calling It ‘Big Church’

LYNCHBURG, VA — Despite being a fully grown adult, local man Jeff Campbell is still calling the worship service in the sanctuary "Big Church....

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Biden Says Anyone Struggling To Buy A House Should Just Try Setting Up 20 Shell Companies To Launder Money From China

The Babylon Bee

Biden Says Anyone Struggling To Buy A House Should Just Try Setting Up 20 Shell Companies To Launder Money From China

CAMP DAVID — With mortgage interest rates continuing to climb and home ownership increasingly out of reach for many Americans, President Joe Bide...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

New Christian Dating App Just A Screen That Tells You To Go To Church And Meet A Godly Spouse

The Babylon Bee

New Christian Dating App Just A Screen That Tells You To Go To Church And Meet A Godly Spouse

GRANDVIEW, MO — As single people excitedly downloaded a new Christian dating app, they were surprised to learn that the app consists only of a si...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

White House Assures Americans We're Not A Banana Republic, We're A Democratic Banana Republic

The Babylon Bee

White House Assures Americans We're Not A Banana Republic, We're A Democratic Banana Republic

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to public outcry that America has descended to the level of a banana republic, the Biden administration assured th...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

10 Theses From Martin Luther That Didn't Quite Make The Cut

The Babylon Bee

10 Theses From Martin Luther That Didn't Quite Make The Cut

Many people are quite familiar with Martin Luther's famous 95 Theses that he nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany in...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Survey: Number 1 Quality Men Look For In A Wife Is A Woman Who Will Fight Off Invisible Lizard People On The Plane Who Aren't Real

The Babylon Bee

Survey: Number 1 Quality Men Look For In A Wife Is A Woman Who Will Fight Off Invisible Lizard People On The Plane Who Aren't Real

U.S. — A new survey of single men has found that the number one qualification they look for in a wife is "someone who will shout at and fight...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Biden's 'No Comment' Praised As Most Rational, Coherent Statement He's Made As President

The Babylon Bee

Biden's 'No Comment' Praised As Most Rational, Coherent Statement He's Made As President

REHOBOTH BEACH, DE — Biden responded "No comment" to a reporter's question about the destructive, deadly Maui fires as he was leavin...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

9 Best Camping Spots In California

The Babylon Bee

9 Best Camping Spots In California

California is a beautiful state with a variety of environments for nature lovers to explore. Whether you're a casual camper, backpacker, or ju...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Report: Noah's Wife Repeatedly Asked Him To Stop Posing On Prow Of Ark Shouting, 'I'm The King Of The World!'

The Babylon Bee

Report: Noah's Wife Repeatedly Asked Him To Stop Posing On Prow Of Ark Shouting, 'I'm The King Of The World!'

MESOPOTAMIA - According to Bible scholars, Noah's wife was repeatedly forced to shout at him to stop posing himself atop the prow of the Ark a...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Sociologists: Western Civilization Began Its Decline When McDonald's Took Out Those Little Cheeseburger Stools

The Babylon Bee

Sociologists: Western Civilization Began Its Decline When McDonald's Took Out Those Little Cheeseburger Stools

U.S. — An expert panel of sociologists has weighed in on the decline of Western civilization, and they believe they've found the exact momen...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

8 Subtle Signs You Might Be Playing Against A Trans Athlete

The Babylon Bee

8 Subtle Signs You Might Be Playing Against A Trans Athlete

Ladies, have you ever been ready for a game to start when you looked over at your opponent and thought, "Hold up -- is that a dude?" To hel...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Study Finds 100% Of Men Would Immediately Leave Their Desk Job If Asked To Embark Upon A Trans-Antarctic Expedition On A Big Wooden Ship

The Babylon Bee

Study Finds 100% Of Men Would Immediately Leave Their Desk Job If Asked To Embark Upon A Trans-Antarctic Expedition On A Big Wooden Ship

U.S. — A new study has found that 100% of men would immediately leave their desk jobs if a daring explorer showed up at their place of work and s...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Country Music Industry Confused By Man Actually From Country Making Actual Music

The Babylon Bee

Country Music Industry Confused By Man Actually From Country Making Actual Music

NASHVILLE, TN — Sources at the major country music record labels confirmed Monday that they were "baffled" and "nonplussed" by a ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Israelites Ask Moses If He Can Strike Another Rock To Dispense Sunny D

The Babylon Bee

Israelites Ask Moses If He Can Strike Another Rock To Dispense Sunny D

THE WILDERNESS — After God miraculously supplied the Israelites with water, the Israelites asked if Moses could possibly strike another rock to m...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Global Warming Mysteriously Spikes Every Year Between June And August, Experts Say

The Babylon Bee

Global Warming Mysteriously Spikes Every Year Between June And August, Experts Say

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House National Climate Task Force reported today that NASA scientists have discovered a mysterious spike in global w...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

The Biggest Pros And Cons Of Living In Each State

The Babylon Bee

The Biggest Pros And Cons Of Living In Each State

While every state in the Union is way better than France, each has its upsides and downsides. We at The Babylon Bee have collected for you the bigg...