The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Fatphobic A.I. Still Not Generating A Supermodel That Looks Like Lizzo

The Babylon Bee

Fatphobic A.I. Still Not Generating A Supermodel That Looks Like Lizzo

UNITED STATES — A.I.-generated supermodels are turning heads and garnering millions of followers with their slim, lithe, fake bodies showing off ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Trump Charged With Questioning Election Results While Not Being A Democrat

The Babylon Bee

Trump Charged With Questioning Election Results While Not Being A Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Trump appeared in court yesterday after Special Council Jack Smith charged him with the high crime of questioning his election...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

White House Says Bidenomics So Successful The Average American Has Twice As Many Jobs As They Had Two Years Ago

The Babylon Bee

White House Says Bidenomics So Successful The Average American Has Twice As Many Jobs As They Had Two Years Ago

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press briefing this morning, the White House praised the overwhelming success of "Bidenomics," as the average Ame...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Pretend Scientist Announces Belief In Pretend Genders

The Babylon Bee

Pretend Scientist Announces Belief In Pretend Genders

NEW YORK, NY — The pretend gender community is celebrating a huge step toward pushing their false ideology closer to the mainstream after pretend...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Biden Calls Emergency Meeting In Situation Room For Some Small Talk About The Weather

The Babylon Bee

Biden Calls Emergency Meeting In Situation Room For Some Small Talk About The Weather

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions rose in the White House today after President Joe Biden called an urgent meeting with top administration members. Acc...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Biden Releases Steamy Shirtless Beach Photos To Distract From Corruption Scandal

The Babylon Bee

Biden Releases Steamy Shirtless Beach Photos To Distract From Corruption Scandal

REHOBOTH, DE — President Joe Biden posed for photos yesterday on his Delaware beach trip in an effort to distract the public from mounting scanda...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

San Francisco Demands Elon Musk Remove Bright Sign As It's Disturbing People Trying To Poop On Street

The Babylon Bee

San Francisco Demands Elon Musk Remove Bright Sign As It's Disturbing People Trying To Poop On Street

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In an ongoing dispute regarding the new illuminated "X" sign installed atop the former Twitter headquarters, city off...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Are You At A Nursing Home Or The U.S. Senate Chamber? 9 Clues To Look For

The Babylon Bee

Are You At A Nursing Home Or The U.S. Senate Chamber? 9 Clues To Look For

There you are, sitting across from an elderly, demented man drooling on his oatmeal, when suddenly you begin to wonder: Am I in a nursing home, or ...

The Babylon Bee 2 years ago

Senate To Now Be Controlled By Whichever Party Has Fewer Senators In Hospital

The Babylon Bee

Senate To Now Be Controlled By Whichever Party Has Fewer Senators In Hospital

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With aged senators increasingly absent from sessions to treat their illnesses and injuries, Congress has passed new rules givi...