ER doctor: “So yeah this guy has a lot of things wrong with him that are probably chronic but just to be safe I consulted cardiology, nephrology, GI, and infectious disease.” Me: “I see. Did you also consult deez?” ER doctor: “Deez who?” Me: 😏…

isn’t this the guy in charge of watching the gold at Fort Knox?

Patient: “Oh my goodness. You look too young to be a doctor. I’m so lucky to have such a handsome young doctor aren’t I sweetheart?” Me: 😀 Patient’s daughter: “Yeah so like I saying mom is legally blind and has dementia.” Me: 😞

I recently asked six high-functioning 94+ yos what the secret was to living a long life. 3 said lead a good life/have a good relationship with God. 2 said hard work. 1 said bourbon.