I WRITE FAST FICTION Because it used to be that you’d buy some Pulp from Southern Cross to read on the long ride home down the Sandringham Line. But not now, man. Now we have Fast Fiction. Coz we’re living in the digital age. This is the internet of THINGS. We want our stories punchy and we want them relevant and we want them now. And they have to be in the feed, man. Because it’s not real unless it’s in the feed. And plus that’s where everybody’s at these days. Nobody’s hanging out analogue anymore. And it’s no use writing about something that happened last year. That’s done, that’s over. That’s yesterday’s news and nobody wants to know about it. The Modern World exists in a 24 hour News Cycle. So it’s Fiction, but Fast. That’s why I smoke cigarettes and write stories on my iPhone. Because from my small island nation I can reach the world. And at first I found it strange that my Australian-Centric Semi-Fiction got shared internationally. I was surprised that people in New Zealand, Canada, America, and the UK, related to what I was saying. But now I know why. Global corporations are working with national governments to control Western citizens. And for some reason most companies are owned by Blackrock. And for some reason it’s beneficial to Blackrock if you cut off your dick and become a communist. And they’re also trying to put fake indigenous people in power. And speech is being censored like never before. Weak people get off on the thought of the government controlling what we say. But those of us who are capable and intelligent know that that’s a slippery slope. And plus we don’t want the government interfering in our lives. And I think we all owe a debt of gratitude to Elon Musk for paying $44 billion to save free speech. Without him we would still be living in 2021 where the truth was silenced. Now on Twitter we can actually have conversations and, finally, people can say things that are controversial. So I write Fast Fiction. And it makes some people mad. But they don’t understand that I just write shit I think is funny. And when some blue haired they/them gets triggered it makes my day. I think that communists will destroy Australia. I think Lidia Thorpe is a terrorist. I think Louis CK is funny and I think COVID was a scam. I just want to move to the Cayman Islands to pay no tax and leave Albo behind me. But my wife won’t let me so I need an outlet. That’s why I write Fast Fiction.

I WRITE FAST FICTION Because it used to be that you’d buy some Pulp from Southern Cross to read on the long ride home down the Sandringham Line. But not now, man. Now we have Fast Fiction. Coz we’re living in the digital age. This is the internet of THINGS. We want our stories punchy and we want them relevant and we want them now. And they have to be in the feed, man. Because it’s not real unless it’s in the feed. And plus that’s where everybody’s at these days. Nobody’s hanging out analogue anymore. And it’s no use writing about something that happened last year. That’s done, that’s over. That’s yesterday’s news and nobody wants to know about it. The Modern World exists in a 24 hour News Cycle. So it’s Fiction, but Fast. That’s why I smoke cigarettes and write stories on my iPhone. Because from my small island nation I can reach the world. And at first I found it strange that my Australian-Centric Semi-Fiction got shared internationally. I was surprised that people in New Zealand, Canada, America, and the UK, related to what I was saying. But now I know why. Global corporations are working with national governments to control Western citizens. And for some reason most companies are owned by Blackrock. And for some reason it’s beneficial to Blackrock if you cut off your dick and become a communist. And they’re also trying to put fake indigenous people in power. And speech is being censored like never before. Weak people get off on the thought of the government controlling what we say. But those of us who are capable and intelligent know that that’s a slippery slope. And plus we don’t want the government interfering in our lives. And I think we all owe a debt of gratitude to Elon Musk for paying $44 billion to save free speech. Without him we would still be living in 2021 where the truth was silenced. Now on Twitter we can actually have conversations and, finally, people can say things that are controversial. So I write Fast Fiction. And it makes some people mad. But they don’t understand that I just write shit I think is funny. And when some blue haired they/them gets triggered it makes my day. I think that communists will destroy Australia. I think Lidia Thorpe is a terrorist. I think Louis CK is funny and I think COVID was a scam. I just want to move to the Cayman Islands to pay no tax and leave Albo behind me. But my wife won’t let me so I need an outlet. That’s why I write Fast Fiction.

New from Twitter. Trying to figure out NOSTR. Excited for freedom!

I WANTED TO BUILD A HOUSE So I saved up for ten years and bought a vacant block of land. Then paid $50,000 in stamp duty. And another $28,000 in mortgage repayments whilst waiting to get planning approval. For some reasons it took council 18 months to decide whether to let me build a house on the land that I owned. Which is in a residential zone, by the way. At first they said my fence was too green. Then my windows were too low. Then we needed to do a bushfire survey. Then I had to get an ecology report. Then I had to redesign the whole thing because they wouldn’t let me pull a tree down. They promised the redesign would get approved. But then they said I needed to consult with the local aboriginal tribe. So I did that, and the aboriginals said my land was on sacred ground. So now I’m not allowed to build there at all. And I have to pay the aboriginals rent, plus a Sacred Site Maintenance Levy. I try to sell the land, but nobody will buy it. Interest rates double and I can’t afford to hold the land. I skip a meal, and then another. The aboriginals put my rent up. Council puts my rates up. I get charged a Vacancy Levy because I’ve failed to build a house on the land. My job fires me because having too many white men working there is ‘bad for optics’. Now I’m homeless and I have to camp on my vacant land. But apparently this is illegal and the council fines me. Sleeping outside makes me sick so I go to hospital. The doctor says I need urgent treatment. I can’t afford the treatment, and my Medicare Levy doesn’t cover it for some reason. They offer me a Euthanasia Care Package as an alternative. And I feel grateful to live in a first world nation with multiple health care options. As they’re providing me with treatment, I wonder if the remining equity in my land will be enough to cover my Death Tax.

I WANTED TO BUILD A HOUSE So I saved up for ten years and bought a vacant block of land. Then paid $50,000 in stamp duty. And another $28,000 in mortgage repayments whilst waiting to get planning approval. For some reasons it took council 18 months to decide whether to let me build a house on the land that I owned. Which is in a residential zone, by the way. At first they said my fence was too green. Then my windows were too low. Then we needed to do a bushfire survey. Then I had to get an ecology report. Then I had to redesign the whole thing because they wouldn’t let me pull a tree down. They promised the redesign would get approved. But then they said I needed to consult with the local aboriginal tribe. So I did that, and the aboriginals said my land was on sacred ground. So now I’m not allowed to build there at all. And I have to pay the aboriginals rent, plus a Sacred Site Maintenance Levy. I try to sell the land, but nobody will buy it. Interest rates double and I can’t afford to hold the land. I skip a meal, and then another. The aboriginals put my rent up. Council puts my rates up. I get charged a Vacancy Levy because I’ve failed to build a house on the land. My job fires me because having too many white men working there is ‘bad for optics’. Now I’m homeless and I have to camp on my vacant land. But apparently this is illegal and the council fines me. Sleeping outside makes me sick so I go to hospital. The doctor says I need urgent treatment. I can’t afford the treatment, and my Medicare Levy doesn’t cover it for some reason. They offer me a Euthanasia Care Package as an alternative. And I feel grateful to live in a first world nation with multiple health care options. As they’re providing me with treatment, I wonder if the remining equity in my land will be enough to cover my Death Tax.

I WANTED TO BUILD A HOUSE So I saved up for ten years and bought a vacant block of land. Then paid $50,000 in stamp duty. And another $28,000 in mortgage repayments whilst waiting to get planning approval. For some reasons it took council 18 months to decide whether to let me build a house on the land that I owned. Which is in a residential zone, by the way. At first they said my fence was too green. Then my windows were too low. Then we needed to do a bushfire survey. Then I had to get an ecology report. Then I had to redesign the whole thing because they wouldn’t let me pull a tree down. They promised the redesign would get approved. But then they said I needed to consult with the local aboriginal tribe. So I did that, and the aboriginals said my land was on sacred ground. So now I’m not allowed to build there at all. And I have to pay the aboriginals rent, plus a Sacred Site Maintenance Levy. I try to sell the land, but nobody will buy it. Interest rates double and I can’t afford to hold the land. I skip a meal, and then another. The aboriginals put my rent up. Council puts my rates up. I get charged a Vacancy Levy because I’ve failed to build a house on the land. My job fires me because having too many white men working there is ‘bad for optics’. Now I’m homeless and I have to camp on my vacant land. But apparently this is illegal and the council fines me. Sleeping outside makes me sick so I go to hospital. The doctor says I need urgent treatment. I can’t afford the treatment, and my Medicare Levy doesn’t cover it for some reason. They offer me a Euthanasia Care Package as an alternative. And I feel grateful to live in a first world nation with multiple health care options. As they’re providing me with treatment, I wonder if the remining equity in my land will be enough to cover my Death Tax.