I'm realizing now that underwear was invented to fundamentally keep dust from falling into your balls.

As I take off my boots and the soaked pant legs descend on the once warm fabric of my socks, and dry too, ... I now realize how good these boots are.

I feel like I need multiple noster identities so no one can correlate some of my shitposts with some of my other shiftposts.

At the curious conclusion of my pressure washing activities tonight, I have found myself at the crux of my identity. I now realize that I am suspenders wearing man for life. Because I found a pair of Dickies on eBay, and discovered their belt loop patterns coincided with suspender clips (which I was researching for some reason) and now I wore these pants while working — pressure washing my whole driveway today. And it was raining ... drizzling? It's raining. Who can say which? And I just took a piss at the edge of the yard, as one does — and when I went to adjust my pants, the adjustment happened in a way that I did not even know was possible with the suspender belts sliding over my shoulders as I reposition my torso with respect to my pants, and — I realize now that I could wear suspenders every day for the rest of my life. Like some of those celebrities who have an image to uphold or whatever. Not that I'm trying to become that ... it's just that ... I get where they're coming from, with the suspenders.

Blessed are those who know the festal shout, who walk in the light of your presence, LORD

Hannah: I don’t agree with almost anything he had to say EXCEPT how he viewed his position in his family. Saying his wife and children come first, that his wife could have whatever she wanted even if it meant he would go without. I would never want my husband to go without but seeing how men treat their wives today it was a breath of fresh air. But seriously, I have done the research, watched his videos, seen his interviews and he did have a lot of racist/sexist/homophobic opinions. My biggest issue I’m having with followers of his just scream “you’re taking it out of context!” … no, I’m listening to everything he’s saying. You can’t say something egregious and then sprinkle in one nice thing in the same paragraph expecting it to make it all better Klesko: See that's fine. You just need to respect people like me that grew up in the 80s and are very thick skinned, have aged conservatively, and simply don't find him controversial. There are even thousands of black, minority, and gay creators on this very app defending him very intelligently and essentially proving that he was the opposite of racist or homophobic if you really listen to what he's arguing for. All of the world's religions teach two genders, but also love and acceptance. He embodied that well. Perspective is everything, and liberal or idealistic types tend to try to think FOR minorities and the oppressed. They have good intentions, but the privileged white perspective is not reality. A good example is all the white folks screaming about the deportations, while I work every day in construction with these great legal Latino men who voted for Trump and don't even understand why liberals are upset? Perspective is key. You can have your opinion, as long as you respect those that directly oppose you, like Charlie Kirk did so well.

Omw the GitHub site is so fuckin ghey .... taking a million years to load anything. What is it running on, rails? And I do happen to know what's running under the frontend hood. Someone said it was an abomination. And who designed the navigation scheme? It's as if the company were built by people with a little too much vacation.

GitHub is pretty gay IMO. Can't approve your own PR, in your own fucking repo. Fuck you...

We get deep into the pussy, but they get deep into our vulnerabilities

12 Virginia oil lamps are for face. Never knew you means I can't see your face.

If you're doing really good in life, you're always haunted by the thought that you might be that "perfect family" that had that horrible tragedy, because that's how all the stories go. Thanks TV.

Ok Android but WHAT FUCKING YEAR IS IT?

"It's because _mommy's water bottle_ doesn't have bacterial overgrowth..."

Sometimes I look at my tweets and I think, 3,000 IQ... but that could not be possible. sounded better in my head.

My wife just tried to zoom in on a picture book 🤦

Felt not cute. Might reboot. #amethyst #bugs #rollwithit

Not sure who to tell this to, but I had some really great sex with my wife last night. That is all.

There are literally some things you cannot say unless you're completely anonymous

When you put on your dirty clothes to go visit your in-laws 🙄

Bro why does scratching scabs feel sooo good? Prompting skin growth? Debriding? Detoxifying? Also I surely do wonder if bloodletting had some ancillary good effects...