Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set: DC Divide and Conquer DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key DO Divide and Overflow EMPC Emulate Pocket Calculator EPI Execute Programmer Immediately EROS Erase Read Only Storage EXCE Execute Customer Engineer HCF Halt and Catch Fire IBP Insert Bug and Proceed INSQSW Insert into queue somewhere (for FINO queues [First in never out]) PBC Print and Break Chain PDSK Punch Disk

Serocki's Stricture: Marriage is always a bachelor's last option.

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked to add 2 and 2. The housewife replied, "Four!". The accountant said, "It's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spread sheet one more time." The lawyer pulled the drapes, dimmed the lights and asked in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

#define BITCOUNT(x) (((BX_(x)+(BX_(x)>>4)) & 0x0F0F0F0F) % 255) #define BX_(x) ((x) - (((x)>>1)&0x77777777) \ - (((x)>>2)&0x33333333) \ - (((x)>>3)&0x11111111)) -- really weird C code to count the number of bits in a word

If you want me to be a good little bunny just dangle some carats in front of my nose. -- Lauren Bacall

Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it? -- A. Hope

People who take cold baths never have rheumatism, but they have cold baths.

Q: What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck.

A homeowner's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a weekend for?

A halted retreat Is nerve-wracking and dangerous. To retain people as men -- and maidservants Brings good fortune.

QOTD: Ludwig Boltzmann, who spend much of his life studying statistical mechanics died in 1906 by his own hand. Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on the work, died similarly in 1933. Now it is our turn. -- Goodstein, States of Matter

It is so soon that I am done for, I wonder what I was begun for. -- Epitaph, Cheltenham Churchyard

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

... I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!

The POP3 server service depends on the SMTP server service, which failed to start because of the following error: The operation completed successfully. -- Windows NT Server v3.51

Usage: fortune -P [] -a [xsz] [Q: [file]] [rKe9] -v6[+] dataspec ... inputdir

paak, n: A stadium or inclosed playing field. To put or leave (a a vehicle) for a time in a certain location. patato, n: The starchy, edible tuber of a widely cultivated plant. Septemba, n: The 9th month of the year. shua, n: Having no doubt; certain. sista, n: A female having the same mother and father as the speaker. tamato, n: A fleshy, smooth-skinned reddish fruit eaten in salads or as a vegetable. troopa, n: A state policeman. Wista, n: A city in central Masschewsetts. yaad, n: A tract of ground adjacent to a building. -- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. -- Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"

I don't think it's worth washing hogs over. -- Larry Wall in <199710060253.TAA09723@wall.org>

All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. -- IBM maintenance manual, 1925