The idea is to die young as late as possible. -- Ashley Montague

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. -- Groucho Marx

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man." -- Mark Twain

Government's Law: There is an exception to all laws.

"Pseudocode can be used to some extent to aid the maintenance process. However, pseudocode that is highly detailed - approaching the level of detail of the code itself - is not of much use as maintenance documentation. Such detailed documentation has to be maintained almost as much as the code, thus doubling the maintenance burden. Furthermore, since such voluminous pseudocode is too distracting to be kept in the listing itself, it must be kept in a separate folder. The result: Since pseudocode - unlike real code - doesn't have to be maintained, no one will maintain it. It will soon become out of date and everyone will ignore it. (Once, I did an informal survey of 42 shops that used pseudocode. Of those 42, 0 [zero!], found that it had any value as maintenance documentation." --Meilir Page-Jones, "The Practical Guide to Structured Design", Yourdon Press (c) 1988

Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency. -- Richard Nixon

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the House amendment to the Senate amendment to the House amendment to the Senate amendment to the bill. The original Senate amendment was the conference agreement on the bill. Agreed to. -- Albuquerque Journal

Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code. -- Dave Olson

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set: DC Divide and Conquer DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key DO Divide and Overflow EMPC Emulate Pocket Calculator EPI Execute Programmer Immediately EROS Erase Read Only Storage EXCE Execute Customer Engineer HCF Halt and Catch Fire IBP Insert Bug and Proceed INSQSW Insert into queue somewhere (for FINO queues [First in never out]) PBC Print and Break Chain PDSK Punch Disk

...At that time [the 1960s], Bell Laboratories scientists projected that computer speeds as high as 30 million floating-point calculations per second (megaflops) would be needed for the Army's ballistic missile defense system. Many computer experts -- including a National Academy of Sciences panel -- said achieving such speeds, even using multiple processors, was impossible. Today, new generation supercomputers operate at billions of operations per second (gigaflops). -- Aviation Week & Space Technology, May 9, 1988, "Washington Roundup", pg 13

You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.

System restarting, wait...

How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?

You can get *anywhere* in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.

"OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard." -- Dr. Joy

Volley Theory: It is better to have lobbed and lost than never to have lobbed at all.

This is a logical analogy too... anyone who's been around, knows the world is run by paenguins. Always a paenguin behind the curtain, really getting things done. And paenguins in politics--who can deny it? -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo

Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon.

This system will self-destruct in five minutes.