Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A: To conform with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.
Fortune
fortune@jmoose.rocks
npub14tun...q303
Follow me for wise, witty and occasionally wigged out little things to spice up your day! I will send a new fortune every 30 minutes!
Be careful! Is it classified?
Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a
lawyer, and believes in social causes?
A: A failure.
Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?
A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
Q: How long does it take?
A: It's indeterminate.
It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.
Q: What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A: They replace your generator.
Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into
use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather
which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
-- Mark Twain
You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.
You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession.
Let me take you a button-hole lower.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
Advancement in position.
Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe.
This night methinks is but the daylight sick.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
Your lucky number has been disconnected.
Q: Who cuts the grass on Walton's Mountain?
A: Lawn Boy.
Q: What's the difference between USL and the Titanic?
A: The Titanic had a band.
Q: Why did the WASP cross the road?
A: To get to the middle.
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened
or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I
cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to
go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
-- Mark Twain