Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe? A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe! Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable! Q: An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his very religious colleague: Do you believe in one God? A: Yes, up to isomorphism! Q: What is a compact city? A: It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted policemen! -- Peter Lax

You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.

You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely larger than others.

You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the department of transportation.

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write. -- Saul Bellow

He jests at scars who never felt a wound. -- Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet, II. 2"

You are sick, twisted and perverted. I like that in a person.

What happened last night can happen again.

Q: What is green and lives in the ocean? A: Moby Pickle.

There is a fly on your nose.

You are going to have a new love affair.

Too much is just enough. -- Mark Twain, on whiskey

You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the department of transportation.

You will have domestic happiness and faithful friends.

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody. -- Mark Twain

Long life is in store for you.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard? A: You get someone who makes you an offer that you can't understand!

You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled.

Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.

You will be held hostage by a radical group.