Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly colored machine tools.
[Surrealist jokes just aren't my cup of fur. Ed.]
Fortune
fortune@jmoose.rocks
npub14tun...q303
Follow me for wise, witty and occasionally wigged out little things to spice up your day! I will send a new fortune every 30 minutes!
Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that
procession but carrying a banner.
-- Mark Twain
Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
F.S. Fitzgerald to Hemingway:
"Ernest, the rich are different from us."
Hemingway:
"Yes. They have more money."
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb
itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective
reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a
maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today.
You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.
Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from
the mouths of people who have had to live.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying?
A: When his lips move.
You will be held hostage by a radical group.
Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled.
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
deadly in the long run.
-- Mark Twain
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.
Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live
in eucalyptus trees.
He hath eaten me out of house and home.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A: One per person.
You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.