You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.
Fortune
fortune@jmoose.rocks
npub14tun...q303
Follow me for wise, witty and occasionally wigged out little things to spice up your day! I will send a new fortune every 30 minutes!
It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
-- Churchy La Femme
You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
You are a bundle of energy, always on the go.
I got a hint of things to come when I overheard my boss lamenting, 'The
books are done and we still don't have an author! I must sign someone
today!
-- Tamim Ansary, "Edutopia Magazine, Issue 2, November 2004"
on the topic of school textbooks
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
-- Mark Twain
Q: How much does it cost to ride the Unibus?
A: 2 bits.
You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
Q: Why did the programmer call his mother long distance?
A: Because that was her name.
The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick,
rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what
would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my
career.
-- Winning sentence, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first.
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Patch griefs with proverbs.
-- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"
... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he
was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
-- Mark Twain
You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.
You can rent this space for only $5 a week.
Q: What's a light-year?
A: One-third less calories than a regular year.