If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.

You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.

Q: Know what the difference between your latest project and putting wings on an elephant is? A: Who knows? The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. -- Mark Twain

Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your life in such a mess.

Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight.

You will be married within a year, and divorced within two.

Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? A: You do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere if they don't get it. -- Mark Twain

A is for Apple. -- Hester Pryne

There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of paying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.

Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.

Don't feed the bats tonight.

If you can read this, you're too close.

Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.

To be or not to be. -- Shakespeare To do is to be. -- Nietzsche To be is to do. -- Sartre Do be do be do. -- Sinatra

Reply hazy, ask again later.

Having nothing, nothing can he lose. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"