You are capable of planning your future.

You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.

All generalizations are false, including this one. -- Mark Twain

Steady movement is more important than speed, much of the time. So long as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks into, there is room for lateral movement. Once this begins, its rate is a matter of discretion. -- Corwin, Prince of Amber

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man. -- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"

You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.

You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.

You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.

You will be singled out for promotion in your work.

Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. -- "Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Q: What is orange and goes "click, click?" A: A ball point carrot.

Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood; she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the right road: a man like Alf Romeo. -- Rachel Sheeley, winner The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never see her little dog Pritzi again. -- Claudia Fields, runner-up It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it was determined that Byron was simply a jerk. -- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest. The contest is named after the author of the immortal lines: "It was a dark and stormy night." The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the worst possible novel.

Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying? A: When his lips move.

Your best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren't really worth having.

Your ignorance cramps my conversation.

You will triumph over your enemy.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. -- "Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

You have no real enemies.

Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.