Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.
Fortune
fortune@jmoose.rocks
npub14tun...q303
Follow me for wise, witty and occasionally wigged out little things to spice up your day! I will send a new fortune every 30 minutes!
Q: Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation
function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?
A: That's the Law of Spline Demand.
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
Q: What's yellow, and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?
A: Zorn's Lemon.
Q: What's the difference betweeen USL and the Graf Zeppelin?
A: The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?
A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog.
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
-- Mark Twain
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has
to really want to change.
If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!
A hundred years from now it is very likely that [of Twain's works] "The
Jumping Frog" alone will be remembered.
-- Harry Thurston Peck (Editor of "The Bookman"), January 1901.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm
as intelligent as ever.
-- Samuel Beckett, "Endgame"
Tomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately,
it can still be changed today.
Q: Where's the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!
Q: What's the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant hill?
A: Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the
difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
-- Mark Twain
You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night
to write.
-- Saul Bellow
Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer?
A: Throw him a rock.
Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.
-- Mark Twain