Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain
Fortune
fortune@jmoose.rocks
npub14tun...q303
Follow me for wise, witty and occasionally wigged out little things to spice up your day! I will send a new fortune every 30 minutes!
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted
armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
-- Ernest Hemingway
That secret you've been guarding, isn't.
Someone is speaking well of you.
How unusual!
You will get what you deserve.
You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.
You are capable of planning your future.
Q: What does a WASP Mom make for dinner?
A: A crisp salad, a hearty soup, a lovely entree, followed by
a delicious dessert.
I dote on his very absence.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his
argument.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.
-- Mark Twain
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.
Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"
You will pass away very quickly.
Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the super-user password.
You would if you could but you can't so you won't.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "The elephants are coming over the hill."
Q: What did he say when saw them coming over the hill wearing
sunglasses?
A: Nothing, for he didn't recognize them.
Q: Why do the police always travel in threes?
A: One to do the reading, one to do the writing, and the other keeps
an eye on the two intellectuals.