Q: Why do the police always travel in threes? A: One to do the reading, one to do the writing, and the other keeps an eye on the two intellectuals.

Q: Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate? A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.

Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. -- Mark Twain

Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.

You will be married within a year.

I got a hint of things to come when I overheard my boss lamenting, 'The books are done and we still don't have an author! I must sign someone today! -- Tamim Ansary, "Edutopia Magazine, Issue 2, November 2004" on the topic of school textbooks

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -- Mark Twain

Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.

Q: What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas? A: The impossible dream.

Today is what happened to yesterday.

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Your supervisor is thinking about you.

AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE! -- J. R. R. Tolkien

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more. -- Mark Twain

Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight.

You have taken yourself too seriously.

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm) -- by Charles Dickens A lawyer who looks like a French Nobleman is executed in his place. The Metamorphosis LITE(tm) -- by Franz Kafka A man turns into a bug and his family gets annoyed. Lord of the Rings LITE(tm) -- by J. R. R. Tolkien Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano. Hamlet LITE(tm) -- by Wm. Shakespeare A college student on vacation with family problems, a screwy girl-friend and a mother who won't act her age.

You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part.

You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.