You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.

You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it!

Don't relax! It's only your tension that's holding you together.

Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road? A: Because it was on the other side.

Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.

Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.

You should go home.

You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.

Q: Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon? A: To impress Jodie Foster.

This night methinks is but the daylight sick. -- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

Let me take you a button-hole lower. -- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

Today is the last day of your life so far.

You will have a long and boring life.

Chicken Little was right.

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant. -- Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", II, 2

Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).

Stop! There was first a game of blindman's buff. Of course there was. And I no more believe Topper was really blind than I believe he had eyes in his boots. My opinion is, that it was a done thing between him and Scrooge's nephew; and that the Ghost of Christmas Present knew it. The way he went after that plump sister in the lace tucker, was an outrage on the credulity of human nature.

This was the most unkindest cut of all. -- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"

You will engage in a profitable business activity.

Questionable day. Ask somebody something.