Q: Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon?
A: To impress Jodie Foster.
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Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part.
You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
You will lose your present job and have to become a door to door mayonnaise
salesman.
Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).
You will be surrounded by luxury.
Your goose is cooked.
(Your current chick is burned up too!)
Q: Why was Stonehenge abandoned?
A: It wasn't IBM compatible.
You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it!
Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it!
A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his
wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."
If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it.
You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly.
Q: What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?
A: A doberman.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
Q: What do you call a principal female opera singer whose high C
is lower than those of other principal female opera singers?
A: A deep C diva.
The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted
sullenly and, buffing her already impeccable nails -- not for the first
time since the journey begain -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve
into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent
with Basil.
-- Winning sentence, 1983 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.