One of my favorite rhetorical techniques is to use multiple negative descriptors to criticize something, and then to complement an alternative, but still keep one of the negative descriptors. Here is a recent paraphrased example: "We should rise above the abstract and meaningless semantic arguments so we can have a more concrete and meaningful semantic argument instead" I feel like this language trick encourages critical thinking. Just because a descriptor has a bad connotation doesn't mean you should be afraid to use it for something you approve of. Especially if it is one of the cases where the descriptor is accurate and good.

People talk about how important it is to use a person's preferred pronouns, like "he" or "she". However I believe that the most polite and respectful pronoun is "you". If you are going to talk about someone, the best thing you can do is to talk TO them. Plus "you" is gender neutral.

Are you planning out a busy and productive day because you actually want to be busy and productive? Or because you are bored and because planning stuff out is a good way to occupy your mind?

The sandman ran me over with a big truck breaking every bone in my body.

Peeopl say "don't meet your hero". Well, my hero is Goku, so I don't think that's going to be a problem. What I'm really interested in is whether people should meet their villains. There isn't a saying about that one to my knowledge.

I bragged to a police officer about getting away with a crime, and that bastard arrested me! So much for free speech!

Mao anounces one day that China has freedom of speech. Skeptical, one citizen hesitantly says "Taiwan is its own country". He is immediately captured and is never seen again. "WTF!" one person complains. "I thought we had free speech now!" Mao responded calmly "freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences."

My favorite question to ask Libertarian types is whether it is ethical to perform CPR on a stranger who stops breathing and passes out without advanced warning. Lots of Libertarians say it's always unethical to take someone's money without consent, even if they recieve something they want in return. Okay, sure. But is it okay to break someone's sternum without consent while performing proper forceful CPR? Most Libertarians are just Communists or Capitalists or Conservatives and just don't want to present themselves that way for some reason. However, when talking with the rare exception, the CPR question often stumps them.

If I wanted to lie to someone, the very first lie I would tell them is "I never lie." Of course, I actually don't want to lie to people. In fact, I never lie.

Dear Dairy, Today I drank some milk.

Therapists are for pussies. I have a traumatist instead. I pay him to traumatize me.

I hate my customer service job. It's really wearing on me. Not a lot of you know this, but I actually work at a phone store selling various Android devices. I can't tell me how many times customers have come up to me and asked "dO YOu seLL ApPLe PrODuCtS???" Yesterday I got written up by my boss because I started trying to sell one of those retards a bottle of apple cider I smuggled in. FML