Fun fact, the french word for "orgasm" is "rigor mortis" and it means "the little death."

Christian proof of God be like: "Santa Claus is the opposite of the Grinch in every way. The Grinch isn't real. Therefore Santa Claus is real."

Last night I was tired and hungry, but I had to buy groceries. In the supermarket I noticed some kind of incubator thingy next to me. Inside of it was a fully baked pizza, ready for me to take home and eat. I don't know how they designed its display, but it was NOT air tight. I could smell it calling to me. A sign above the pizza said "the 2000 calories per day guidline is just a general benchmark; nobody can stop you if you choose to exceed that amount." It took every last bit of willpower I had to keep walking.

Designing an SQL server implementation built entirely on top of Microsoft Word's "find and replace" feature.

Life hack! Traffic courts legally cannot charge you with anything if the police officer doesn't show up! So remember: if you want to get out of a ticket, simply murder the police officer who issued it the day before the court date!

It's important to gatekeep fandoms that you aren't a part of. If you just let anybody be a part of a fandom then it loses all meaning as an insult. For example, if you shower then you can't call yourself a TRUE brony. Find another show to watch and obsess about.