URGENT NOTICE FROM THE IRS! UNPAID TAXES! OPEN LETTER IMMEDIATELY! BALANCE OWED: $0.00 MESSAGE FROM AGENT: You don't owe us anything, I just wanted to say hello. :3 Do you want to play on my Minecraft server? RESPONSE DUE WITHIN 5 BUSINESS DAYS OR FEDERAL POLICE WILL BE SENT TO YOUR HOUSE

"Oh no! How am I supposed to prevent squirrels from getting into the bird feeder?! Nothing I do works!" It's simple. Ghost peppers.

Me: *Blows woman's head off with shotgun* Live Studio Audience: *shocked and horrified* Me: "Woah, looks like it's a tough crowd tonight. I apologize, that was not my best material, but I've got something new and better lined up that I think you all will appreciate!" Me: *Does it again*

Hey, you guys know how a few weeks ago I said I wouldn't be as active on Nostr? Well I'm back to devoting that attention to Nostr again. My boyfriend cheated on me and we broke up.

What the hell is this?