#quotestr You need more time; and you probably always will.

#quotestr Q: Who cuts the grass on Walton's Mountain? A: Lawn Boy.

#quotestr Is that really YOU that is reading this?

#quotestr You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.

#quotestr Q: Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate? A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.

#quotestr You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones. -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in Scarlet"

#quotestr Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever. -- Samuel Beckett, "Endgame"

#quotestr Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom. -- Mark Twain

#quotestr You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money.

#quotestr Blow it out your ear.

#quotestr April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

#quotestr A light wife doth make a heavy husband. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

#quotestr Chicken Little only has to be right once.

#quotestr A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.

#quotestr You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.

#quotestr You have many friends and very few living enemies.

#quotestr Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...

#quotestr Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gingivectomist, he dreams about a single cosmologist, he thinks about his dog. The dog is named Herbert. -- Racter, "The Policeman's Beard is Half-Constructed"

#quotestr Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.

#quotestr A light wife doth make a heavy husband. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"