#quotestr A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.

#quotestr You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.

#quotestr You have many friends and very few living enemies.

#quotestr Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...

#quotestr Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gingivectomist, he dreams about a single cosmologist, he thinks about his dog. The dog is named Herbert. -- Racter, "The Policeman's Beard is Half-Constructed"

#quotestr Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.

#quotestr A light wife doth make a heavy husband. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

#quotestr Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket"--which is but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention;" but the wise man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and--WATCH THAT BASKET." -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

#quotestr Q: What do monsters eat? A: Things. Q: What do monsters drink? A: Coke. (Because Things go better with Coke.)

#quotestr Your best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren't really worth having.

#quotestr Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!

#quotestr In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator.

#quotestr Q: What do monsters eat? A: Things. Q: What do monsters drink? A: Coke. (Because Things go better with Coke.)

GM!

#quotestr ROMEO: Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much. MERCUTIO: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve.

#quotestr Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift? A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.

#quotestr The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n. -- John Milton

#quotestr Q: What do you call a blind, deaf-mute, quadraplegic Virginian? A: Trustworthy.

#quotestr Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

#quotestr You are number 6! Who is number one?