#quotestr Q: What's the difference between a Mac and an Etch-a-Sketch? A: You don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.

#quotestr You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. A pity that it's totally undeserved.

#quotestr I dote on his very absence. -- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

#quotestr Your goose is cooked. (Your current chick is burned up too!)

#quotestr You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.

#quotestr Make a wish, it might come true.

#quotestr You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.

#quotestr An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.

#quotestr Things past redress and now with me past care. -- William Shakespeare, "Richard II"

#quotestr Q: What's the difference between Bell Labs and the Boy Scouts of America? A: The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

#quotestr Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

#quotestr Stay away from hurricanes for a while.

#quotestr In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. -- Mark Twain

#quotestr Beware of Bigfoot!

#quotestr There is a 20% chance of tomorrow.

#quotestr You will be held hostage by a radical group.

#quotestr You have a truly strong individuality.

#quotestr You will be surprised by a loud noise.

#quotestr Long life is in store for you.

#quotestr Are you making all this up as you go along?