#quotestr Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.

#quotestr Q: Minnesotans ask, "Why aren't there more pharmacists from Alabama?" A: Easy. It's because they can't figure out how to get the little bottles into the typewriter.

#quotestr A light wife doth make a heavy husband. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

#quotestr Exercise caution in your daily affairs.

#quotestr You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.

#quotestr Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain

#quotestr You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.

#quotestr It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important. -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Case of Identity"

#quotestr Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? A: One less drunk.

#quotestr He hath eaten me out of house and home. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"

#quotestr "What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal so as to see the bottom, and nearly spilling them onto the table top. "Here it is!" He hauled out a little cream-colored, glitter-sprinkled squid, three-inches long and made out of rubbery plastic. -- James P. Blaylock, "The Last Coin"

#quotestr If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. -- Mark Twain

#quotestr You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.

#quotestr Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

#quotestr You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.

#quotestr The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. -- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

#quotestr A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."

#quotestr Never look up when dragons fly overhead.

#quotestr A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. -- Mark Twain

#quotestr The surest protection against temptation is cowardice. -- Mark Twain