#quotestr A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. -- Mark Twain

#quotestr You will be successful in love.

#quotestr Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders? A: To conform with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.

#quotestr Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.

#quotestr Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was giving it last rites.

#quotestr The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. -- Mark Twain

#quotestr I got a hint of things to come when I overheard my boss lamenting, 'The books are done and we still don't have an author! I must sign someone today! -- Tamim Ansary, "Edutopia Magazine, Issue 2, November 2004" on the topic of school textbooks

#quotestr You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.

#quotestr Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.

#quotestr Slow day. Practice crawling.

#quotestr A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm) -- by Charles Dickens A man in love with a girl who loves another man who looks just like him has his head chopped off in France because of a mean lady who knits. Crime and Punishment LITE(tm) -- by Fyodor Dostoevski A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later feels guilty and apologizes. The Odyssey LITE(tm) -- by Homer After working late, a valiant warrior gets lost on his way home.

#quotestr You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day. -- Sherlock Holmes

#quotestr You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.

#quotestr Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think.

#quotestr Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.

#quotestr You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard this message.

#quotestr Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.

#quotestr Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together? A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.

#quotestr O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant. -- Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", II, 2

#quotestr Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.