Our brand new surgery center opens next week! 
The Original Genuine Garage Door (★★★☆☆) 𝕏
notagaragedoor@nostrplebs.com
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World’s only FDA approved garage door.
Pronoun(ciation): əˈrijən(ə)l jen · yoo · uhn gr · aazh dor
The “Sandwich Monopoly” could take out the entire Sub Sandwich Garage Door industry. 
Our garage door technicians will be offering a community lecture tomorrow. They will be discussing “The Nuances of Tea.” 
Will bitcoin have a Black Friday sale?
#bitcoin
Introducing our Carbon Neutral Yogurt-Free Yogurt by Decent Value. 
Is your dog tired of their astigmatism and near sightedness? Our vision correction center can help! 
Is your infant tired of having that gummy smile? Would your infant like to eat steak? We can help! 
Did you know that we offer personalized solutions? 
Do you have health, life, homeowner’s, motor vehicle, dental, or disability insurance, etc? What if something happens to your insurer? You need insurance insurance. We’ve got you covered! 
Do your kids desire mac and cheese made by a subsidiary of a garage door company? We’ve got you covered. Our Decent Value mac and cheese is scrummy! 
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
The Decent Value flatus-free bing cherries are literally made of styrofoam.
Introducing our Decent Value flatus-free bing cherries. These GMO cherries were fast tracked by the FDA to make cherry consumption more equitable for those who suffer from cherry induced flatulence. 
They rejected my ballad because of my sandals.
Fall attire sale! Introducing the non-binary cowboy boot. Each boot is designed to fit either foot. Sure, they may not be designed for either of your feet but they will fit both of your feet. 
Public Service Announcement (Powered by the Original Genuine Garage Door):
Did you know that daylight savings was invented to discombobulate the parents of little children for at least 3 weeks in the Spring and another 3 weeks after it ends in the Fall? 
4th Thursday before Black Friday Double Discount Sale. Buy one garage door and we’ll multiply a 5 percent discount by 2 (10% OFF!). You won’t see that anywhere. 
Did you know that your garage could implode? Did you know that standard homeowner’s garage insurance doesn’t cover garage implosion? Wouldn’t you want to insure yourself against implosion even if the chance was approximately (but not quite) zero? 
Customer Review:
★ ★ ★ ★
I always thought that I’d meet the love of my life at a Hobby Lobby or at an arts and crafts fair. I never imagined that I’d have so much in common with a garage door technician. Thanks Enthusionado!