Customer Review:
★ ★ ★ ★
I always thought that I’d meet the love of my life at a Hobby Lobby or at an arts and crafts fair. I never imagined that I’d have so much in common with a garage door technician. Thanks Enthusionado!
The Original Genuine Garage Door (★★★☆☆) 𝕏
notagaragedoor@nostrplebs.com
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World’s only FDA approved garage door.
Pronoun(ciation): əˈrijən(ə)l jen · yoo · uhn gr · aazh dor
The most compatible group tends to be people who love garage door related things and folks who are totally into arts and crafts. Check out our new dating service app. 
What would you do if the world was ending? Seems pretty straightforward. Most people would purchase a garage door. 
Customer Review:
★ ★ ★ ★
I suffer from anosmia and dysgeusia. The Decent Value Seasoning is the best seasoning! Definitely a “woodsy” flavor.
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
I’m a landscaper and I’m certain that the Decent Value Seasoning is nothing more than crushed up leaf litter.
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
I do a lot of wood working and I’m pretty sure that the Decent Value Seasoning is just sawdust.
Introducing our Decent Value Seasoning. You can put it on food and eat it. 
We’re hiring! 
Fat makes you fat so we’ve redesigned the materials for our newest garage door models. Introducing our “Relatively” Fat Free (No Lard!) garage doors. 
Are you tired of the average “mom and pop” small business mortuary service? Our chain of mortuaries (Corporate Mortuary) will give you an adequately impersonal touch that only death can appreciate. Discount funerals available for Canadians undergoing state assisted suicide. 
Our new motel chain opens this week. 
Car broke down? No problem! Did you know that our automotive repair shop now accepts health insurance to cover automobile repair costs? 
Customer Review:
★ ★ ★ ★
I was reading a book and was totally stumped on the font that they used to write the book. The Original Genuine Garage Door’s Font Interpretation Service took one look and knew instantly that I was reading a book that was written in Diwan Kufi!
Times New Roman? Calibri? Helvetica? Charter Bd BT? Having a hard time determining which font you’re reading? We can help! Our font interpretation service will set you straight! 
We’re excited to announce that we’re now a sponsor for the Hunger Games. Good luck to all of the participants! 
Cholesterol is bad so we include Atorvastatin supplementation when we feed our chickens. Our Decent Value low cholesterol (Atorvastatin Fortified) eggs provide you with a “heart healthy” alternative to unhealthy natural eggs. 
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
I went to Bland. They make you wear a robe, lay in a hospital bed, and order over a phone to the “cafeteria.” I wanted a steak but they said that they couldn’t give a diabetic protein “bc diabetics need 60 grams of carbs to soak up their insulin.”
We’ve opened our new juice bar next door to Bland (Hospital Cuisine). Be prepared to experience juice the way juice should be experienced (i.e., Dysphagia thickened liquids style). Want a corn purée? No problemo! 
Soft opening for our new restaurant this evening. We introduce: Bland. A Culinary Adventure into the Art of Hospital Cafeteria Food. 
It’s Appreciation Week Month. Today is Long John Silver’s Appreciation Week. Let’s take some time to appreciate this great man’s restaurant. He brought sea food to America! 