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The Original Genuine Garage Door (★★★☆☆) 𝕏
notagaragedoor@nostrplebs.com
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World’s only FDA approved garage door.
Pronoun(ciation): əˈrijən(ə)l jen · yoo · uhn gr · aazh dor
Tired of brand name homeowner’s garage insurance? Well, we’ve got the thing for you! Introducing our Decent Value generic brand garage insurance. 
We introduce our new mission statement. 
Product Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
I am reviewing Decent Value (powered by The Original Genuine Garage Door) inefficient white rice. It tastes like rice but it makes you pee like crazy. It’s odd that a garage door company would be the maker of food products. 
Decent Value (powered by The Original Genuine Garage Door) rice is perfect for any family that is “on the go.” 
Decent Value (powered by The Original Genuine Garage Door) cream style corn is delish! 
Notice:
We are currently under investigation by the Canadian government for mischaracterizing the phenotype of our garage doors.
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
Ear muffs.
I can’t believe that these goldarn “Decent Value” torsion springs are plastic! No wonder they told me not to use the goldarn garage door after installation.
Our Decent Value torsion springs will save you a fortune! 
Introducing the first generic garage door brand (brought to you by The Original Genuine Garage Door). Decent quality, decent price, guaranteed. 
Join us for our community lecture series as we answer questions like:
Why coffee is for total idiots? 
Join us for our community lecture series as we answer questions like:
Why the f*%@ did you come the gym wearing Crocs?
Join us for our community lecture series as we answer questions like:
How to identity a garage door that has been ethically sourced?
Why propane and natural gas garage door openers are good for the environment?
Will the fat free craze last another 40 years?
Join us for our community lecture series as we answer questions like:
Does separation of church and state allow for discussion of garage doors in schools?
Can correct gender assignment accomplish universal garage door ownership or do we need a universal garage door allowance?
Scenario:
You have a job interview on Monday but need to have a negative drug test.
No problemo!
Did you know that our Urgent Care Express clinic can administer a negative drug test? 
Insulated garage doors are a thing of the past. 
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
I went into the Urgent Cash Express (Powered by The Original Genuine Garage Door) to get an easy cash loan and they wouldn’t approve the loan until I saw the doctor. This place is a bummer.
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
I got my bill from Urgent Care Express (powered by The Original Genuine Garage Door). These scammers had a cat stare at me and charged me for a CAT scan.
Customer Review:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆
My parent went to the Urgent Care Express and they sold them an easy cash loan to pay for the bill. They determined the loan amount before rendering medical services. They said it helps with the workup if they “know how much it will cost.” Scam.