Are you tired of your old cash? Would you like a clunker? We can help!

Did you know that you can make hundreds of billions (no, trillions) of dollars if you sell Original Genuine Garage Doors? It’s as simple as selling 100 garage doors and having 100 friends (and their 100 friends, etc) sell 100 garage doors. Only $100,000 for startup!

Our new children’s book helps set the record straight. This illuminating book helps children understand what adults don’t want kids to know (or talk about) garage doors.

The garage door ecosystem is poorly understood and often demonized. Propaganda prevents progress. We’d like to set the record straight in our new book.

Public service announcement from The Original Genuine Garage Door: Hoity toity journal study result suggests that you “should not do anything because of the risk of everything.”

Anyone who has a 5 car garage should take advantage of our garage butler service.

Add Roman candle resistant to our doors. Anyone who orders their garage door today will receive a free Roman candle test before we leave the installation site. Bonus: We will serenade you with the American anthem (during a 10 shot Roman candle test) if you call now!

Clarification for those of you who thought the flamethrower flame looked like a cheese pizza. We test all doors with a flamethrower (not cheese pizza) prior to leaving the installation site.

Used, no flood (unless specifically requested flood), and flamethrower resistant. Each door installation receives a free flamethrower test before we leave the installation site.

1/2 (rate limited) car garage.

Maybe your garage band prefers to boogie over rock and roll?

I usually post fake non-sense so this piece of garbage article fits right in. It’s aggravating to see more and more of this stuff in our journals (especially when your goal is to give patients the best care possible). Why care? Because you or your family will be the victim of what we’re missing when we don’t seek real scientific answers. Forget about the fact that our healthcare system is the number 2 or 3 killer in this country (ie medical errors). Let’s blow right past that and consult a climate specialist to make sure “pregnant people” don’t breath smoke from wildfires. This county is done if we can’t go back to merit based science. You’ll understand this best if you’ve read The Fiat Standard the. https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp2210221

In the future we will utilize recycled Crocs to make garage doors. You have no idea how useful these useless shoes will become.

Back by popular demand: The rain resistant fire pit.

Did you know that your propane or natural gas powered garage door opener cannot get hacked? Compare this to the hack-ability of the app based Fiat tier electronic openers. Call for your consultation today and we’ll send you a free hot water compatible urinal cake.

Tired of using a door handle to get into the front door of your home? We can install a used, no flood (unless specifically requested flood), garage-style door with a 1500 hp propane or natural gas door lift.

Tired of using a door handle to get into the front door of your home? We can install a used, no flood (unless specifically requested flood), garage-style door with a 1500 hp propane or natural gas door lift.

Customer review: ★ ★ ★ ★ “I love the hot water urinal that they installed in my garage!”

Corporate has requested that we “occasionally”use garage doors that have been harvested from homes that have experienced a flood. They foresee maintaining a strong 3/5 star rating. We now offer used, no flood (“unless specifically requested”), garage doors, made in England.