I need to reiterate my last post. Let me once again go over just these few moments of the past few years of hell I've been through.
4th of July 2 years ago: someone sent me a screenshot of someone claiming to be Digit's brother saying she committed suicide. I had been trying to find out if she was alive for months and this sent me into absolute panic. That night, I checked the wallstreetbets Discord and people were using a bot with her voice to make her talk about serving them sexually and shit while they talked about how she deserved to die and they laughed at her being supposedly dead. I still couldn't get any actual proof of whether she was alive or not, people still gave conflicting stories on whether they were mocking her for committing suicide, or mocking her for faking her death. I couldn't stop myself from speaking out about this, so they figured out who I was and re-banned me from the Discord chat.
I changed my nostr name to "whoever loves Digit" and started talking openly about this, but my posts continued to get no engagement and I continued finding nobody that gave a fuck what I was going through, leaving me with zero path forward for trying to find out if Digit was alive.
Apps like Primal continued censoring my npub, usually refusing to say anything about it, once in a while replying to my comments about it to say it was my fault for things like my refusal to be extra nice to liars, or my refusal to pay money. Primal offered so called "Primal Legends" and I paid a million fucking sats hoping they might stop censoring my npub, but there was no sign they did. They also clearly withheld paid features like search and repeatedly ignored me continuing to ask them about it.
2 days before Christmas: I posted the proposal for retro-crypto and got near zero engagement for it, like all my other posts and important project proposals, probably due to my npub being filtered, and people that followed me not even seeing my posts. I was still getting no answers from Primal devs about them blocking me from using features like search that I paid a million fucking sats for. Even my backup plan of embarrassing Primal for their behavior wasn't working, because no one fucking cared, probably nobody was even seeing my posts to possibly start caring.
Christmas that year: I was still trying to get people to talk about retro-crypto, for silence in response. I was still begging for help finding out if Digit was alive, for silence in response. I was always posting about Gaza and this day was no exception, kids were dying en masse in Christmas bombings. Nobody cared. I was still confronting Primal for blocking features like search that I paid for, and probably still censoring my npub. Nobody cared.
Primal "trending" feeds were still full of meaningless sycophantic bullshit, nothing as important as retro-crypto, nothing as important as Digit, nothing as important as Gaza. Just people who are "in the club" getting countless likes and reposts and replies, for pointless shit, while I continued to drown in fucking silence and panic.
For a long time, pretty much the only human interactions I had were people like Ser Sleepy gaslighting me, muting and unmuting me just to gaslight me more, telling me "Digit is dead" without proof, zapping each other for it, etc.
One of the few things that could have made me feel better would have been hearing about major terrorist attacks in the US that day, which I said. Sadly, none did happen that day.
Later: I started getting more human interactions, other than people gaslighting me or telling me Digit is dead, but it's still very close to zero. These tiny bits of engagement and human interaction were enough to get some funding and a dev for Retro-Crypto, allowing it to exist, but progress there was still very slow, like my other project proposals (such as cradicle). I was still constantly begging for help finding out if Digit is alive, and not getting much help.
January 10 this year: ODELL finally broke his streak of silence to gaslight me again and act like I was the bad guy for how I reacted to that level of psychological torture. He also called me a "liar" based on nothing.
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More recently: ColdCard hacks stole money from thousands of victims who trusted advice from people like ODELL. Retro-Crypto was almost developed enough to save them, but nowhere near adopted enough. It could have been much further developed and adopted if people like ODELL talked about it instead of shilling shit like ColdCard.
Still almost no one cares. Primal trending feeds still have zero mentions of Gaza while they're full of meaningless shit. They still have zero mentions of Digit or retro-crypto. There are still zero nostr devs using cradicle or even talking about it, I can't even get them to give reasons why they won't use it. I still get just a tiny bit of engagement on my posts. Nostr still claims to be about "censorship resistance" while people here act as a shield/diversion for the real enemies keeping me banned from wallstreetbets. Instead of giving me people who stand up alongside me and demand justice from wallstreetbets, nostr is full of more enemies I have to fight before I can even do anything to wallstreetbets. The stress is literally fucking killing me, my internal organs have been hurting for years, and no matter how hard I try, there is almost zero progress.
And I have posted about ALL OF THIS MULTIPLE TIMES, for NO ONE to even fucking care enough to remember. Let me repeat, NONE of this is being mentioned for the first time in this post, or the second time, or the third time. I have been begging for help for a long fucking time. There are a thousand little pieces I have begged for help with a thousand fucking times each. And every single one of you still pays so little attention to what happens with me, even my closest "followers" or "friends" would have parts of this post they forgot about.
What about Calibre from wallstreetbets scamming me for $10,000, which I paid him to write Digit a letter she said he never sent during one of her previous disappearances? That's another thing I've posted about multiple times, but how many of you remember it? Primal stealing a million fucking sats from me (for so called "Primal Legends") acts as a shield/diversion to protect that guy who stole even more. I can't fucking get to him at all through the ban wall, while nostr barely does anything to help me "resist censorship."
I forgive one of you for forgetting these things. One person on nostr makes my life bearable, while hiding their own pain with a strength I can't imagine. You know who you are. If it's painful for you to think too much about my pain, and you have to forget some of it to keep enjoying talking to me, go ahead and forget. But I'm not giving anyone else slack for forgetting any of this shit anymore. Maybe if certain people stopped forgetting everything that happens with me, I could get more help.
