I just bought a dictionary but all of the pages are blank.
...
I have no words to describe how mad I am.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
Spring is here!
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I got so excited I wet my plants!
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
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A sham-rock.
What kind of music do mummy's like?
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Rap
Why did the orange stop rolling?
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Because it ran out of juice.
CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"
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DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
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A blood orange.
What do you call corn that joins the army?
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Kernel.
How do cows count?
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With a cow-culator.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
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Because then it would be a foot.
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.
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I woke up exhausted!
Why are mummys scared of vacation?
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They're afraid to unwind.
Why was the belt stressed out?
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Because it was under a lot of pressure.
Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?
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Because they don’t like stakes.
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
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Look, no hands!
Spring is here!
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I got so excited I wet my plants!
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
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Hoodini.
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
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A spelling bee.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
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Nobody knows.
Anyone can be buried when they die
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but if you want to be cremated then you have to urn it.