Why don’t elephants use computers?
...
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
What do you call a sad strawberry?
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A blueberry.
What did one nut say as he chased another nut?
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I'm a cashew!
Why do cows wear bells?
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Because their horns don’t work.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
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Because some relationships don’t work out.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
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A palm tree!
How do you make holy water?
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You boil the hell out of it.
Which state has the most streets?
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Rhode Island.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next year.
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It’s probably because I don’t have 2020 vision.
My son asked me to put his shoes on
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but I don’t think they’ll fit me.
How does a penguin build its house?
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Igloos it together.
Why did the computer sneeze?
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Because it had a virus.
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
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A spelling bee.
I’ve never trusted stairs.
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They are always up to something.
Slept like a log last night
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woke up in the fireplace.
Why did the barber win the race?
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Because he knew all the shortcuts.
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
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A Brazilian
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—
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it was just gathering dust!
What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him at chess?
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Checkmatey.
Why did the tomato sit down?
...
Because it was feeling saucy.