Why did the computer sneeze?
...
Because it had a virus.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
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A spelling bee.
I’ve never trusted stairs.
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They are always up to something.
Slept like a log last night
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woke up in the fireplace.
Why did the barber win the race?
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Because he knew all the shortcuts.
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
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A Brazilian
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—
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it was just gathering dust!
What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him at chess?
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Checkmatey.
Why did the tomato sit down?
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Because it was feeling saucy.
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?
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European.
I cut my finger slicing cheese the other day...
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but I think I may have grater problems than that.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
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A blood orange.
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
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Live stream.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
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Because they might crack up.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
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Because it was two-tired.
Why did Shakespeare’s wife leave him?
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She got sick of all the drama.
I just bought a dictionary but all of the pages are blank.
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I have no words to describe how mad I am.
What do you call a talking dinosaur?
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A thesaurus.
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
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Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
...
Because it was two-tired.