Why did the tomato sit down?
...
Because it was feeling saucy.
Dad Jokes
npub1dadn...9gj7
How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?
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European.
I cut my finger slicing cheese the other day...
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but I think I may have grater problems than that.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
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A blood orange.
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
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Live stream.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
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Because they might crack up.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
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Because it was two-tired.
Why did Shakespeare’s wife leave him?
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She got sick of all the drama.
I just bought a dictionary but all of the pages are blank.
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I have no words to describe how mad I am.
What do you call a talking dinosaur?
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A thesaurus.
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
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Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
...
Because it was two-tired.
You know what the loudest pet you can get is?
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A trumpet.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
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Because some relationships don’t work out.
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
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A woolly jumper.
Why don’t leopards play hide and seek?
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Because they’re always spotted.
How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Just watched a documentary about beavers.
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It was the best damn program I’ve ever seen.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next year.
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It’s probably because I don’t have 2020 vision.
What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
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Twister.