Why do ducks never get into arguments?
...
Because they always let things roll off their backs.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
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What do you call an artist who only paints ducks?
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A quack artist.
I just bought a dictionary but all of the pages are blank.
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I have no words to describe how mad I am.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
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Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Just read a few facts about frogs.
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They were ribbiting.
Why did the skeleton go to the gym?
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To get to the core of the problem.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
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He couldn't see himself doing it.
How do cows stay up to date?
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They read the moos-paper.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
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It’s fine, he woke up.
Why don’t birds use social media?
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Because they already tweet enough.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
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A satisfactory.
What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
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Twister.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
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Because they are shellfish.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
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It got mugged.
Why do melons have weddings?
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Because they cantaloupe.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
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A palm tree!
Two goldfish are in a tank.
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One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
How do you weigh a millennial?
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In Instagrams.
Why did the horse go behind the tree?
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To change its jockeys.
I told my doctor I heard buzzing
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but he said it’s just a bug going around.