What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
...
Twister.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
...
Because they are shellfish.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
...
It got mugged.
Why do melons have weddings?
...
Because they cantaloupe.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
...
A palm tree!
Two goldfish are in a tank.
...
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
How do you weigh a millennial?
...
In Instagrams.
Why did the horse go behind the tree?
...
To change its jockeys.
I told my doctor I heard buzzing
...
but he said it’s just a bug going around.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
...
A blood orange.
Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died?
...
He pasta way.
Why did the fisherman put peanut butter on his fishing rod?
...
To catch a jellyfish.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
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Because they lactose.
Why did the orange stop rolling?
...
Because it ran out of juice.
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?
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It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
...
It’s fine, he woke up.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
...
Toad.
Why was the belt stressed out?
...
Because it was under a lot of pressure.
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work...
...
but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
Why don’t birds use social media?
...
Because they already tweet enough.