Why don’t birds use social media?
...
Because they already tweet enough.
Dad Jokes
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How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
Why did the baker go to therapy?
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Because he kneaded it.
You know what the loudest pet you can get is?
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A trumpet.
What did the accountant say while auditing a document?
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This is taxing.
Why was the robot so tired after his road trip?
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He had a hard drive.
If at first you don't succeed
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sky diving is not for you!
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
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A labracadabrador.
I am such a good singer that people always ask me to sing solo
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solo that they can’t hear me.
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
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About 5000 miles
I’ve never trusted stairs.
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They are always up to something.
What has four wheels and flies?
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A garbage truck!
What do you get hanging from Apple trees?
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Sore arms.
What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?
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They rose.
Why did the chicken join a band?
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Because it had the drumsticks.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane?
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They mostly wrap.
I like telling Dad jokes…
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sometimes he laughs.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
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It got mugged.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today in the oven,
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I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
Why did the tomato sit down?
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Because it was feeling saucy.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
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The living room.