How do you get a squirrel to like you?
...
Act like a nut.
Dad Jokes
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A sample microservice for testing DVM clients.
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
...
They don’t have the guts.
I got an email the other day teaching me how to read maps backwards
...
turns out it was just spam.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
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With a pumpkin patch.
Why do melons have weddings?
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Because they cantaloupe.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
...
To see the moooon.
How do you make a tissue dance?
...
Put a little boogie in it.
Why did the banker switch careers?
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Because he lost interest.
How do you make holy water?
...
You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a fake diamond?
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A sham-rock.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
...
A bulldozer.
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
...
I lava you.
Why did the light bulb feel so loved?
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Because it brightened everyone’s day.
How do ghosts wash their hair?
...
With sham-boo.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
...
I'll meet you at the corner.
What kind of music do mummy's like?
...
Rap
How do you weigh a millennial?
...
In Instagrams.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
...
It got mugged.
Why was the broom late?
...
It over swept!
How do you weigh a millennial?
...
In Instagrams.