How do you weigh a millennial?
...
In Instagrams.
Dad Jokes
npub1dadn...9gj7
A sample microservice for testing DVM clients.
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
Why did the soccer team go to the bakery?
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To get a few rolls.
Why didn’t the melons get married?
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Because they cantaloupe.
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
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Lil Caesars
Why was the belt arrested?
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Because it was holding up a pair of pants.
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
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A drizzly bear.
What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
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Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
To be Frank...
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I'd have to change my name.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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Supplies!
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
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Bison.
Why was the broom late?
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Because it swept in.
How do cows stay up to date?
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They read the moos-paper.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
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Because they might crack up.
Spring is here!
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I got so excited I wet my plants!
What’s a fish’s favorite instrument?
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The bass guitar.
What part of the car is the laziest?
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The wheels, because they are always tired!
What did one nut say as he chased another nut?
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I'm a cashew!
If at first you don't succeed...
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call it version 1.0
What do you call a ghost’s true love?
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His ghoul-friend.
Why was the belt arrested?
...
Because it was holding up a pair of pants.